Once upon a season dreary

The first holiday cards to arrive are from various charities, corporate organizations, political groups, or all of the above – anybody who wants to shame you into sending them some money by means of guilt – giving you a card and sometimes some address labels.* They are usually pretty unremarkable, but this one, sent from my alma mater (a lofty term to describe the place where I took a lot of night classes in order to finally obtain a BFA at the age of 40). If I were grading this design or critiquing it (perhaps as part of my art studies there) for a Holiday card for donors and alumni – something whose purpose is to get you to donate $$$ to them – it would get a solid F. Not sure what they want to do with the money. It could have gone to a graphic designer in this case...

Instead of looking warm and inviting, I want to leave the room ASAP.

It doesn’t look bad for Halloween though.

*and oh the humanity, we’ve got enough address labels to last at least 3 more lifetimes.
Just stop it.

Apparently the address label tactic still works though, so the mailbox will continue to be stuffed.
NPR: Give And Take: How The Rule Of Reciprocation Binds Us

Thanksgiving, then and now

Oooh! Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and everybody is psyched up about the huge meal, the football, seeing family members, turkey turkey turkey pie pie, and then there are those hitting the stores for the Black Friday Shopping Stampede. I've done all the big family dinners that I ever want to do in my life, so I'm done with that. Something to be thankful for right there!! Yaay!!

Those of you participating in a big dinner prep might appreciate this absolutely classic hilarious and real letter that someone shared with the Awkward Family Photos people. I think I may have posted this before, but I always revisit it this time of year. It's traditional! My graphic is just a thumbnail - go to the site to read it and enjoy the some more real life weirdness - shit that you just can't make up. Awkward Family Photos: The Thanksgiving Letter

One of my new favorite Thanksgiving-dinner-themed things is this series of comics called "Thanksgiving as a kid VS Thanksgiving as an adult" from The Oatmeal. Again, I've provided a teeny thumbnail because you should go over and read it where it lives. Love The Oatmeal.

We do have some Thanksgiving traditions, even though none of them involve getting stuffed with food until we can't walk. We usually go to the Alamo Drafthouse and watch a movie. They have a full dinner and drink menu, always, (including a full turkey dinner and trimmings if you are so inclined - but I am going to stick with pizza), and we are going to see "Lincoln." Seems like this is going to be one of the ones to beat when the Awards are handed out, so looking forward to it. I find it to be ironic that we are going to see a movie about Lincoln on the anniversary of JFK's assassination...

Whatever you do, enjoy your day. Don't get into any fights at the dinner table if you can prevent them. Life's too short for all that bullshit and heartache.

Keep smiling.

Total tourists!

We are back from vacation, as of Sunday actually, and just now getting caught up with sorting pictures, unpacking, doing laundry, working 3 days and catching up on Breaking Bad before it kicks in for another season. Santa Barbara is a beautiful place and it was worth it to postpone a few purchases in order to visit it. The weather was wonderful and cool every day. Overcast every morning and most afternoons. The "No high heels" sign isn't a statement on the importance of being casual, it's a safety warning for anyone thinking of trying to walk on the old wooden pier wearing stupid and dangerous shoes... ... and in this clip form the 1966 Batman movie that was filmed at this very spot (Stearn's Wharf) you can see that there were several violations of the shoe policy, but Batman was still doing his best to keep the place safe.

The whole town of Santa Barbara (California) was like a botanical garden. I don't know how much of the beauty is the result of careful plant-mothering and how much is just from the cool sun and sea breezes, but everything looked healthy and non-distressed. I imagine it's a bit of both. Things seemed to be kept clean and tidy, and I was a bit surprised to have not even seen one stray cat in the whole 4 days.
We got there on the 4th of July in time for one of the longest parades I can remember, followed that night by fireworks at the beach. Here's a group of re-enactors having an opportunity to fire their muskets. Big noise, and the poor dudes seem to get a faceful with every shot.
This excellent sand sculpture was unofficial, and the artist was collecting tips. It was flattened by the next day.

We were the unashamed tourists in getting on the amphibious tour bus/boat. This one is called the Land Shark. Here it is from the pier with pelicans getting a free ride on top.

These were taken from the tour boat, a bunch of sea lions all snuggled and cuted up. They can pretty much guarantee that you'll see sea lions on your voyage, but we didn't see any dolphins, sharks or whales.


This was pointed out to be David Crosby's boat, his "wooden ship," the Mayan.

This is a famous Moreton Bay Fig Tree, supposed to be the largest of its kind in the USA. It was stunningly gorgeous. Trees are magnificent.


Santa Barbara's courthouse is a tourist attraction because of its architecture, tile decor, murals, stained glass, and tower view of the area. This is my "post card" view of one area, and below that is a partial view of the sunken gardens, basically its perfect lawn occupying a corner of the block.


We were back at the same location that night, and here is a night view of one wing of the courthouse, for a free outdoor movie to be shown.

One of my favorites... and a reminder that the peoples of Earth are never going to get their act together and make peace, regardless of all the convincing arguments that they should.

Just for grins, we priced some real estate listings in this area, and were not surprised to see that they are 3 or 4 times more pricey than where we are now. It's a wealthy area, not a good place to be poor... but you can always collect a few pennies on the beach if you have a creative blanket.

Spring observations

This is my weird lamp that I made from a rabbit-shaped basket (white metal, but you can't tell), some rope light and an ostrich egg. It's Easter-themed but it's used year-round, and I don't celebrate Easter. It's a weird lamp, and that's why I like it.

Even back when I was a kid and always in Church with my mother, I didn't care for Easter. It was probably mostly because my mother couldn't disguise her negative attitude about Easter (the dressing up part of it was hypocrisy, showing-off and "snootiness" to her, and I've never really disagreed with that). I already ranted about that in a previous post, but it was so long ago that I think it's OK to repost this picture of me at my maximum cuteness.

I do think that the coming of Spring is a thing to celebrate, for most people anyway. We are at maximum wildflower stage here now, and it's going to start feeling like Summer probably in April - and Summer is way too long and too hot here...

The yard is full of sunflowers (which I adore), red poppies, orange crossvine... really pretty... and the bugs, squirrels and birds are just munching away on stuff. That's fine. That's why it's there.
I don't even think of Easter as something associated with Jesus anymore. Eggs? Chocolate? Bunnies? Baskets? Peeps? Fancy hats (Easter bonnets)? It doesn't make any difference to me how people choose to do to commemorate an annual event. Celebrate away, don't hurt people or animals, and be tolerant of those who make a different choice. Here's a lovely song to leave with you, Let it Grow by Eric Clapton.

Perpetual gift FAIL

First, you probably don't want to play this video around any ears you consider delicate.

I am wondering just how we managed to produce such a bunch of crass, greedy, selfish assholes. Is this a result of corporate marketing finally succeeding in completely taking over the world and sapping out the last bit of humanity from our souls? Is it the fault of the parents, or are they also corporate victims? When the kids grow up, will they come to their senses and say "Enough is enough, it ends here and now"?

This is one of the hardest things to endure during the days (months?) preceding Christmas. The big marketing pushes to make the holiday all about gifts - and those gifts will be held up for judgement to see if they are good enough - your children, spouse, mother, girlfriend, boyfriend, best friend, co-workers... they will be judging you based on the quality of your gifts, so make them good. This doesn't just happen fictionally is advertisements, it happens for real, and is one of the causes for such great holiday anxiety and depression. People are afraid that their efforts are just not good enough, they will not measure up to expectations.

What caused these attitudes? Is it corporations and their marketing? Is it human nature? Is the bad combo of those two things? What can be done about it? Can we just jump off this crazy Merry-Go-Round en masse?

New Year's Eve, the misses and the missed.

Snagged this bit of brilliance via a FB friend, it is rather perfect in describing many of my failed attempts at having fun on a New Year's Eve celebration package - or forget having fun, I would call it a success even if it was just pleasant or a little bit worth doing.

There are different types:

1. The house party in the suburbs (belonging to a friend of a friend) where I don't know anyone and don't meet anyone interesting, where I end up watching the Ball Drop in Times Square at midnight on TV, sitting on a couch with a couple of other strangers who also feel awkward while a handful of others are getting shitfaced in the kitchen.


2. The low-end package deal, which includes dinner (maybe a spaghetti with rolls and side salad, and a couple of free drinks) and a marginal cover band. These are very much like an economy wedding reception except that I, again, don't know anyone other than the other couple we are with. I don't polka and gave up disco in my 20s. The band will play Proud Mary, Love Shack, Start Me Up and will finish the night with New York New York.


3. The higher-end package deal, which will include either dinner or hors d'oevres, a glass of champagne at midnight, a marginal cover band (see: #2 low-end package deal), and a hotel option. These affairs always made me the most uncomfortable because everyone is trying to "outdress" each other, the line for the bar will be looong (and that is where you will spend a lot of time - either that or your date will be in the line while you are alone). The hotel part does rock though. I hate being in a car after midnight on New Years.

Can you think of a few more typical New Year's Eve things to do or not do?

The only thing I like doing on NYE is spending time with people I know and like, or doing something special - just for its own merit, not because it's NYE. Back in 2008 we went to Momo's for the last public Austin performance of one of our favorite bands: the South Austin Jug Band. They went out in style, bringing in as many ex-members as they could, and it was fantastic. I thought of it today when one of the band members posted this video of mine from that show on FB - it was a tribute to our favorite music club which closed its doors abruptly this week (the club where they and many other favorite bands got started) - more gentrification taking place in that location (no doubt). Momo's will relocate (they say) and musicians keep going but some things will just be memories... for auld lang syne.

JC is fussy about footwear

OK, fortunately I am not familiar with this song. I say 'fortunately' because I think it is total schlock and makes me want to punch something. For reference, I am talking about "Christmas Shoes," the original version you can hear at this link, a video starring Rob Lowe, of all people.

I know that Patton Oswalt's blistering and hilarious commentary on the song have been around for awhile, and this version with animation has been posted for a couple of years now - but I just ran across it. This really matches my attitude this time of year. Great stuff!

Enjoy!!

Seasonal greetings

Wishing everyone a fun holiday, whatever it is you are celebrating! I am rather enjoying the dark cloudy days, after a summer that was extra hot and dry. It will be returning again soon enough.

I am off work until after New Years, and just hoping to spend time hanging around the house and sleeping later than 4:30AM every day. We will go out for live music and to the movies. No travel plans.

Card image from zazzle.

Home Time

Now that we have an empty nest, it's actually possible to travel a bit, so with MrB getting a 4-day weekend (Friday and Monday, the 23rd and 26th off) coming up for Xmas, he suggested maybe an overnighter somewhere, suggesting, perhaps, Marfa. Neither of us have been to Marfa, and it looks like (A) the town appears to be half tiny desert town - half art display and (B) most of both would likely be shut down for Christmas.

Also, it takes over 7 hours to drive there, and we'd probably need to bring our own food since Texas outside of Austin is not known for vegetarian cuisine. Maybe a road trip to Alpine and Marfa during wildflower season would be better, and the shops will be open.

Next idea... mine. Head over to Santa Fe, NM. They will probably have a veggie cafe or two, and there might even be snow in case we'd like to have a white Xmas. Since driving in snow and ice sucks, I check out Amtrak. Pull up website... OK, Amtrak... I want to leave on Dec. 23 from Austin, TX and go to Santa Fe, NM.

Result:
Sorry, nothing leaving on the 23rd. There's one leaving on Dec. 24th at 9:30AM, gets into St. Louis MO at 7:19AM on Dec. 25th. Leaves St. Louis at 4:00PM that day, gets to Kansas City MO at 9:40PM. After a layover of only an hour this time, you go from Kansas City to Lamy NM, arriving at 2:20PM on the 26th. Then you get on a BUS and ride the rest of the way, arriving at 3:40PM. 55 hours. $330 apiece (and that's one-way).

Here's what that route looks like (for those not closely familiar with USA geography).

Another disappointment is that despite Santa Fe's association with trains (re: the Atchison Topeka Santa Fe, and see the photographic evidence of a depot) apparently I can't get all the way there from here by train!! Remember that old song? Here's the Rosemary Clooney/Harry James version. Reminds me of a road trip I made in the late 90s which included Chattanooga TN, and I discovered that the "Chattanooga Choo Choo" (Glenn Miller version) is no longer a travel option.

I looked at flying details just for comparison. The cheapest flight I found through Travelocity was $546, which leaves at 7:00PM and drops you in Houston TX about an hour later... where you wait ALL NIGHT for a 6:35AM flight to Dallas, then from Dallas you fly (in a puddle-jumper, I'm sure) the Santa Fe, arriving at 10:30AM on the 24th. The next cheapest flight was over $800, and other options were over $1100 Again, that's one-way, round-trip was about $650, so a bit cheaper than the train/bus combo that takes 55 hours.

Yeah... I don't think so. I think we will probably stay around Austin for the holiday. It will be sweater weather and the margaritas will be frosty.

Keep Thor in Thursday

A few days off, if you are lucky

Thanksgiving. Giving thanks. The real events which made up 'the first Thanksgiving' I'm sure would not resemble the picture postcard described to us as children and continued to believe in as adults, but it's fair to say that some people were just happy to be alive and making the best of their circumstances.

Most people love Thanksgiving. I'm one of those rare ones who never liked it. Family gatherings have always been on the painful side of awkward, and the only memories of the holiday that I can conjure up that are worth it are the ones that involved alcohol. It's worth noting that alcohol has ruined as many as it has redeemed.

These days it is much easier. The #1 thing I am thankful for is that I have not had to endure a traditional Thanksgiving for quite a few years. MrB has been my hero in this. We are both Thanksgiving 'orphans,' he because his immediate family is in another state, and I because I have no immediate family other than him. We will spend part of Thanksgiving seeing a movie and ordering off the menu at the Alamo Drafthouse while watching The Descendants. The rest of the day we will do whatever the hell we want. Thank you MrB for not insisting that we conform to society's norm.

The #2 thing I am thankful for is not having to deal with the abominable Black Friday. Isn't this Xmas's evil twin? And it's only in America, driven by a pretense of holding back Xmas with Thanksgiving, it all explodes on Black Friday. Every year people are injured and even killed by people stampeding through the store doors when they open - and there is a war over which retailer will be open first. Almost none of the ads I see are about the Thanksgiving holiday, just BF. I really believe that Black Friday has grown to be nearly as important. Some of the big retailers like Best Buy and Target are opening at midnight on Thanksgiving this year (instead of the once-shocking 5AM Friday) so the staff has to be there on Thursday night. There have been petitions against it, but those will have no effect against this impending buygasm. Black Friday is like Christmas without the fake facade of pretending that it's about something other than raw consumerism. Ugh!Our Black Friday plans only include going to see The Band of Heathens. Will see some friends there, I'm sure, and hear some great music.

I've been bitten by the redecorating bug. Not sure if I will be able to capitalize on this enthusiasm by actually putting some paint on a wall, but I am most thankful that I am lucky enough to have a few paid days off, and that we haven't yet sunk to the point where the average Joe or Jane no longer have any benefits such as that one.

Summertime blues 2011

MilkDrive, one of our great local bands, tearing it up on Saturday's warm evening.

Coming off of a blessed 3-day weekend, and if I had my way I would have a 4-day work week every week. For the entire month of May we have both been recovering from some bug - allergies, maybe, but something that was like a cold and led to bronchitis (him) and a persistent sore throat (me) requiring meds that have not really been that helpful. Also, full-on summer has arrived and will be a way of life here until October. By summer I mean it's 97 to over 100° every day with bright bright sun. Looong dog days. Yes, I know... it's Texas... and do really really love the weather here six months out of the year, and the other six I just deal. Those who dearly love the heat do the same thing in reverse.

The guy who inspected the air conditioning unit said we had a problem with the dryer venting lint too close to it, and recommended this apparatus that vented the dryer (lint plus all the hot air) into a little box in the same room with it (with some water in it, I guess to dampen the lint). MrB set it up, and before running it, mentioned that the A/C guy said it would heat up the room some. No shit. It heated the room well up into the 90°Fs... AND (because it was also apparently boiling the water or something) it was really really humid in there too. Steam room. This was running the dryer with the door closed, which we have to do if we expect to be able to hear the TV/stereo. I threw a hissy fit over it (dammit, it's hot enough in the house - it was a device from hell in my book) and made him re-vent it outside and get rid of that thing. Now we have to rig up a barrier of some kind outside to keep the lint out of the A/C. {sigh - home repairs always manage to occupy too much 'spare' time} Poor MrB had already picked out an alternate solution (an aluminum bendy pipe), cut his hand on it in the store, then cut his hand on it again returning it to the store after deciding it wouldn't work. Back to the drawing board.

I think we are just heaving a big sigh from long-term lack of down time, and looking ahead at more of the same indefinitely.

In 2005 I went to St. Louis and stayed one night to attend the wedding of a nephew. That's the last time I left Texas. Up until 2007 we used to be able to get away with staying somewhere overnight as long as we got back as soon as possible the next day (San Antonio or DFW were do-able on occasion then). Before the cats came down with all the health issues it was easier, put out extra food, litter, water - but things started to go south - and they not only needed regular and vigilant medical care and supervision, they were costing so much that a mini-vacation was a pipe dream.

So, I haven't left Austin other than a few miles beyond the city limits for about 4 years now. You all know I love this town and there is plenty to do, but I do have the blues setting in... especially when people start talking about their European vacations and what-not. Here in the heart of Texas, we have led a charmed existence, free from the recent disaster trends that other areas have suffered - such as freakish way-too-much snow, record-busting floods, tornados so numerous and massive as to seem mythical, hurricanes, tarballs, oil slicks, red tide, too many jellyfish (not being near a beach has a few advantages)… fire is a danger but can be somewhat prevented if people behave and quit burning stuff outdoors. We’re in a terrible drought. Seems like a new normal for the changing climate. It’s happening, folks. Real as hell.

Here’s a band we saw on Sunday night at Momo’s. This is a blues number to match my mood.

That’s Emily Gimble on those incredible vocals. Warren Hood and the Goods, one of the best bands in town or in Texas, or just keep going. They play many styles (original material and covers too); gypsy, Chicago, New Orleans, South Carolina… well, that’s about all the traveling I’ll be doing. Go on out and do your thing. I'll be here when you get back.

Happy weekend, no matter where you are

I was really glad to see this weekend get here. I was under the deadline gun on the day job for the whole month of June, then, as always happens, the stack of work required the finish the projects piled itself a lot higher *right* before the deadline. There was overtime...

I wasn't given a holiday for Independence Day because it fell on a Sunday (grrr), but I pulled a vacation day on Monday to make up for it. Wishing a happy 4th to everyday (and belated Canada Day) (and how does one celebrate Canada Day?).

Changing circumstances mean that the 4th of July is just not the great time that it used to be for us. First of all, the patriotic stuff is more of a turn-off now due the ugly political climate that's been developing with the teabaggers, neocons, Bachmann, Palin, Angle {Gaaaaa!! Run away! Run away!!) I love this country, and we put a USA flag out there on the house every day, along with the "American For Peace" sign, but I don't like a lot of things that are done around the world in our name. My Country Right or Wrong is a highly dangerous philosophy.

The other bit is the fireworks. People in this neighborhood go hog wild with the firecrackers/fireworks - and there's no ending time for them. It's an all-nighter. The cats are pretty stressed out by them, especially Jax, our black cat who spent his first 7 years in the streets and (I'm sure) has very good reason to be afraid of fireworks. We have gone out locally for fireworks a few times, and I hate to say this (I really do) but this town just doesn't do as good a fireworks show as St. Louis. We have been disappointed and finally lost interest in attending them (and the ones at Lake Travis - same deal - as far as we're concerned, not worth the hassle unless you have a comfy location with a good view).

This year it's tempting to go down to New Braunfels to see Ryan Bingham ("The Weary Kind" from "Crazy Heart") with the Band of Heathens opening (on the 4th) - but that's a high stress event: standing, heat, humidity, and drive time followed by all night crying cats. We will probably stay home and play cat-nurse instead. During the day I'd like to go down to The Tiniest Bar in Texas (which may have actually been the tiniest bar in Texas at one time, but certainly isn't now) to grab a Veggie Dog at the Veggie Hot Dog Eating Contest put on by I Love Mike Litt. Yes, we have a community activist named Mike Litt!

On Monday the 5th I want to go and see David Garza playing free at the Cactus Cafe. He's been playing there free every Monday lately, and the Cactus is soon to be transformed into who-knows-what with new management, so we've only got until August to enjoy the glory days.

I will leave you with the awesome Jake Shimabukuro on ukulele backed by steel pans. Live from Wrigley Field:

I *heart* this

Found on twitter:

tonymillionaire My 1st grade daughter made this for her christian friend who told her she was going to hell http://tweetphoto.com/10921664

Polar Bare

Polar Bear New Year's Day Plunges are common a tradition now (or as one YouTube vid title put it, "A Celebration of Shrinkage").

This icebreaker in Ottawa does not look fun at all. This is just crazy. Temperature probably in single digits. Yikes!!!


In Ft. Wayne they are at least having a good time with it. Temperatures probably in the teens. Link via John Good.


They do it Austin too, and it was an extra-chilly 45° that morning. 70° temps are not unusual for this time of year but we've had a few cold fronts go through. Barton Springs, though, is always 68° (spring-fed). That's still too cold for me though, even when it's over 100, I can't get in that water. I'm a super-sissy.

I want to do right, but not right now

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we diet. Happy New Year wishes whether you are running around with your ragtop down or cozied in and behaving yourself as we will be.

I quit making resolutions as I always break them. Wondering if I should use reverse psychology on myself... resolve to do the opposite of what I really want to do... would that work?

Many Happy Returns

I ordered something online to send over the pond for a December birthday, and after sending I located the receipt just in case it would be needed. It was folded in half, and I had a laugh when I opened it up. Those guys at T-Shirt Hell are such cutups!

Happy Boxing Day in the UK, and Return Your Gifts Day everywhere. We are headed to Target pretty soon and certainly will observe the festivities in progress.

Enjoy the day

Time to love the ones you're with.

Starring the turkey Sarah Palin pardoned in full view of the bird grinder on live TV

Plot: Five college kids have their Thanksgiving break ruined by a homicidal turkey.


[website] [IMDB] [Found via]

Fresh Despair for the holiday

Stay safe if you're traveling this weekend! We will be staycationing... as usual.

Latest Demotivator from Despair.com.