Silly Hats, Trashcan Music and Giddy Thrall

Saturday was an epic day for us, at least by our current standards. Usually it's me who wimps out, too hot, too late, too this, too that, {whiiiine} but sometimes things click.

Saturday morning at 10, MrB participated in the annual costumed bike parade which is part of New Belgium's traveling beer/bicycle/acrobatic festival called "Tour de Fat" (a reference to Fat Tire beer). Most people wear some kind of a costume or at least something fun. MrB rides in a Santa coat & and hat with red shorts. This year I wore a hat and shirt that looked like a zebra. It was a very, very silly hat. I will wear it again. New Belgium produces a lot of good beer, and 16 oz. of it could be had for $5. One of the acts was a couple who were yo-yo professionals (yes... that's correct). They were great. In the days of Ed Sullivan they would have been world-famous.

We allowed ourselves a pit stop at home to medicate the kitty (literally) and soon headed out to the Gypsy Picnic to see one of our new favorite bands, Delta Spirit, at 6:30pm. I'm pretty sure we were the oldest people in the crowd. I don't even care. I love this band's energy. The trashcan in the title refers to one of their songs where they use a trashcan lid as an instrument. This video did a great job of capturing their finale, which was a song I can't identify yet, morphing into that old standard "SHOUT" (Isley Bros.). It still works and still gets the crowd involved, same as always. Hell yeah! (if you don't have a chance to see it all, slide over to the 2:20 mark.) Not typical of the rest of their music, but they are worth checking out (their website has pro video, also try Spotify, iTunes...)


Now for the whipped cream AND the cherry on top. First of all, this town doesn't usually get star-struck. It's a film town, and reports of big movie stars making candid or *secret* public appearances are commonplace. But the recent 2-day visit by Johnny Depp to promote his new film, Rum Diary, and to receive a special award at the Austin Film Festival left the town in what the Austin Chronicle appropriately called a "giddy thrall." For me it was the (rather poorly-kept secret) appearance at the Continental Club, playing guitar onstage for an hour and a half with his old friend Bill Carter (whose songs are more famous than he is, such as "Crossfire" that was covered by SRV). Oh yeah, and Billy Gibbons was there for awhile too. And we were in the front row, pressed up against the stage just a few feet from Depp. If you want to see some much better shots than mine there, click here.

Here's a little local video and news coverage of his awards, etc.

This is my video, a Bill Carter song called "Willy the Wimp" that was also covered by SRV. We waited in line for 3 hours (for a 12:30 AM show). No wimps here. Not this time.

UPDATE Oct 26: Yahoo is featuring one of my videos in a story.
UPDATE 2 Oct 26: NOLA.com also linked to one.
UPDATE 3 Oct 26: Another Youtuber named AbbyandJohnny stole my videos and uploaded them to her channel. Now some of the media outlets are linking to those. Now that's just low-down and dirty on her part.
UPDATE 4 Oct 27: NME has a few of mine posted.

Madhatter Project

This blog's adopted actor, Johnny Depp, in the earliest released image from Alice in Wonderland, his latest go-round with Tim Burton. The movie also features Alan Rickman, Crispin Glover, Christopher Lee, and of course, Helena Bonham Carter. Depp likes to weave composites into his version of a character. hmmm. I'm seeing some Krusty the Clown, not sure who else. Whaddya think?

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Poe wrote on both?
They both have inky quills?

According to the wiki on the mad Hatter, this is what the author had to say in 1896:

Enquiries have been so often addressed to me, as to whether any answer to the Hatter’s Riddle can be imagined, that I may as well put on record here what seems to me to be a fairly appropriate answer, viz: "Because it can produce a few notes, though they are very flat; and it is nevar put with the wrong end in front!" This, however, is merely an afterthought; the Riddle as originally invented, had no answer at all.

The misspelling of "nevar" was intentional, as it is "raven" backwards. [reference]

Depp's star power

The star in this case being our Sun. My adopted actor, Johnny Depp, made the eco-news by deciding to purchase a solar-hydrogen energy system for his house on the island that he purchased a few years back. [LINK ecorazzi] He was inspired to buy a Caribbean island after his friend Marlon Brando bought a Tahitian one. Inventor Mike Strizki created the nation’s first solar-hydrogen house in New Jersey, and expects Depp's costs to run between $250,000-$500,000. More on Strizki here.

Depp calls his piece of land "Fuck Off Island*," and it looks like the sentiment applies not only to the papparazzi who want to snap pictures of his kids, but to the electrical power grid as well. Shine on, Johnny Depp.


*and might refer to just doing pretty much whatever the hell you want to do on your own damn island.

Adopt an actor

Am I allowed to adopt Johnny Depp?

[edit July 5] All right! He is mine now. I've got a Depp label for past postings.

Adopt an actor.

Happy Birthday Johnny Depp

Johnny Depp turns 45 today, but can still pass for 20 years younger. He makes any movie he's in worth watching just for his performance if nothing else. He looks a hundred different ways in photos, even those taken off the set, because he's never truly between characters. He's known for playing really eccentric characters, and likes to get "uglied up" although that never actually happens.

J.D. wiki

IMDB bio

Heath Ledger

This is a tragic loss... so young and beautiful and talented. I am shocked and saddened. It doesn't even seem real.

Some decent tributes and coverage:
Awards Daily
SF Gate
NPR

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Oh yes, and Entertainment Tonight, you suck! Well, that's just stating the obvious, but this was all over the news well before your slot came up, but not one word about it was mentioned. I know that exclusive interview with Britney's paparazzi boyfriend was expensive, and everyone is dying to hear about American Idol ad nauseum, but this snub is inexcusable. You would think that with his being a previous Oscar nominee for Best Actor (Brokeback Mountain, 2005) that you could have worked in one sentence about his passing. Same thing happened when Hunter S. Thompson took his own life, not a mention of it or the subsequent unique funeral arrangements made by Johnny Depp. But then we get months and months of Anna Nicole and what Dani Lynn ate for breakfast and the creepy Osmonds and those automatons you've got hosting. ugh. Sorry for the rant. I will change the channel from now on.
addendum: the day after it happened, they (ET) are all over it, but the rant stays!

Movie year 2007

Just covering what we saw in 2007 that was widely-released this year, some on DVD, some in the theatre. I'm no critic, I'm no intellectual or film geek, and I've got no credentials. None at all. So this is just a list of a few of my worthless and shallow opinions. Movie links go to IMDB unless otherwise noted.

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Animated favorites

Ratatouille!!! Cute overload plus a good story. Now I want a pet rat. I don't think Jax would understand.
The Simpsons is a movie length TV episode so if you like the Simpsons, you'll like it. I want more Spider-Pig in the future.
Shrek the Third is... well... Shrek. You know what to expect. It's all good.

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Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Horror

Favorites:
Sweeney Todd. Two Johnny Depp movies in the same year! What's not to love about that? I have to confess that I was completely ignorant about Sweeney Todd except for the most obvious things, like the premise. My ignorance was bliss in that I got to be surprised by the plot twists and the ending. Wonderful. Great cast! Newcomers Jamie Campbell Bower (looks like a new heartbreaker) and Ed Sanders (the kid), what a wonderful voice.
Grindhouse. Link goes to my previous posting about it. I was really disappointed that you can't rent "Grindhouse", it's "Planet Terror" and "Death Proof". Same goes for the soundtracks on CD.
Bridge to Terabithia. I thought this would be something just for kids, but it wasn’t, AND it made me cry, which is hard to do.

Also recommended:
I Am Legend. Will Smith is not funny in it, but he is still good. Yes, the bad guys are pretty CG-looking, but still scary. We rented The Omega Man and watched it later the same night. I was ignorant and didn’t realize that they were both based on the same novel "I Am Legend", so this one is not a remake of The Omega Man (1971). The Omega Man is an absolute HOOT, and has unbelievably cheesy 60s/70s music throughout, plus a gun-totin’ Charlton Heston and plenty of afro hairstyles. Actually, the novel (novelette? short story?), I Am Legend, also inspired The Last Man on Earth from 1964 starring Vincent Price, another one to look for if you enjoy those post-apocalyptic themes, and I do. They remind me of my dreams. I don't always sleep well. Blame it on the cold war.
Children of Men. Let me just say that there's no way I would want to bring a child into that world.

And some sequels, all pretty good:
Spiderman 3. The tarantulas in the lobby of the Alamo Drafthouse were a nice touch.
Harry Potter 5. (seen on IMAX 3-D) (and needed more Tonks)
28 Weeks Later
Pirates of the Caribbean 3

On the disappointing side:
Golden Compass. First, I thought the casting was perfect! I almost never totally approve of casting when a book is turned into a movie. The look of things is great too. I thought it needed to be longer, and to spend more time letting you get familiar with people and things. Also I am not meaning to spoil anything, but I like the book ending better -- much better.
Transformers. Mainly disappointing because the machines were not that convincing as being anything but CG. To be really frightening, they need to look "real". Where it was done better was War of the Worlds with Tom Cruise in 2005. Scary (the movie, not Tom Cruise).
300. Most people seem to love this one, but even though I thought every frame of it was a work of art – just beautiful visually, the characters (even the story) did not move me at all. And this is a fantastic story – one of the best ever. It's not because of the graphic novel aspect. Sin City from a couple of years ago (Frank Miller/Robert Rodriguez) has great, memorable characters which 300 didn't have for me.

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Drama and/or Action, human interest, more or less reality-based

Recommended, listed in order of how much action or violence there is, ascending:

****Little or no violence, not gory****

SiCKO: This one is in a class by itself. Definitely one of the most worthwhile viewings of the year.
Once. Very non-Hollywood movie about a couple of musicians.
Away From Her. Excellent and very moving. Julie Christie plays an Alzheimer’s patient. I just love Julie Christie and always have.
Waitress. Kind of in the light romantic category. Good story, has Nathan Fillion in it, and I was really shocked and saddened afterward to learn about the murder of the director (who also had an acting role). It happened (apparently) right after the movie was wrapped so it’s not fresh news but it was for me.

****Some violence, guns, explosions, etc.****

Breach
Rescue Dawn
Michael Clayton

Wow! These all have really incredible performances in them and great stories. All of them award-worthy.

****Intense violence****

No Country For Old Men
3:10 to Yuma
Eastern Promises

Some of the best movies seen all year. Great acting, great stories. Eastern Promises would win Best Fight Scene (that will have to wait for the MTV Movie Awards). I’ve never seen anything quite like it.

Also recommended:
Bourne Ultimatum

****Just pure action, go for the ride****

Live Free or Die Hard. Bruce Willis and the Mac Guy savin ur ass
Shoot ‘Em Up. Bang Bang Bang

A bit disappointing:
Zodiac.
A Mighty Heart.

These were a couple that I liked less than the critics seemed to. In both cases, not that bad but I would not bestow any awards on either of them. Just my opinion, folks. No poo flinging allowed. Your opinion may differ.

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Comedy

Best:Hot Fuzz. Loved it! Bought it! View teaser on right.

Best Cheesy Horror Comedy:
Black Sheep!!! (link goes to my post) Mutated sheep turn into deadly zombie killers in New Zealand, the absolute WORST place you want the sheep to go bad, since New Zealand has about 10-20 sheep per person or something like that.

All recommended:
Superbad. McLovin. Future cat name.
Blades of Glory. Will Farrell and Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite)
Music and Lyrics. OK, I like some Hugh Grant movies, this one included, even though it falls squarely in my least favorite category of light romantic comedy it gets a thumbs up.
Knocked Up

Most common reaction: Who??

OK, boys and girls, men and women, here's the link for People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive 2007 in case you need to see the pics. I guess I definitely need to be watching more crap TV or chick-flicks or something, because I drew a blank on lots of the names.

1. Matt Damon. I've said many times that Matt would never get this little honor, just because his Ocean's 11-12-13 cast buddies (many of whom have won it... some more than once) keep teasing him about it. A little young for me but I do love him as Bourne.
2. Patrick Dempsey. Can't remember if he's McDreamy or McSteamy or McRib, don't watch Grey's Anatomy, but McDreamy and McSteamy are both on my list of Most Annoying Pop Culture Words.
3. Ryan Reynolds. Not familiar with this guy.
4. Brad Pitt. Ryan Reynolds must be puffing his chest out a bit to have edged out Brad Pitt. Brad has definitely got it, but I don't drool over him unless he's Achilles.
5. James McAvoy. Don't remember seeing him in anything, but if he has a Scottish accent it's a definite plus. Actually, it's almost enough by itself. Just talk, I don't care what you look like.
6. Johnny Depp. My choice. Every year. Impossibly good looking and unconceited. prrrr.
   
7. Dave Annable. Another one I don't know.
8. Will Smith. Love Will, he's adorable and a good actor. I will see him in almost anything.
9. Javier Bardem. Don't know him yet, but will be seeing him in No Country For Old Men.
10. Shemar Moore. Another blank on my pop culture radar.
11. Ben Affleck. Makes a comeback after the whole Bennifer effect wears off. Really not appealing to me though.
    
12. Adrian Grenier. Don't know who he is. Cute kid, nice hair. Too young for me to take a glance at, with exception to the age rule made for Legolas in LOTR... but then Legolas is not young, he's a couple of thousand years old at least, right? Riiiight.
13. Will Yun Lee. Another blank here.
14. Justin Timberlake. Yeah, I can see this one. Not really my type though. A bit young.
    

My list would be Johnny Depp, plus a few old coots like Robert Duvall, Tommy Lee Jones, Harrison Ford, Peter Coyote, Michael York (in the 60s), Mick Jagger, and some not so old like Ewan McGregor, Christian Bale, Clive Owen, Naveen Andrews, Liam Neeson (has he achieved cootdom yet?). Bruce Willis and George Clooney are edging on there too. Clooney... I just like HIM, it doesn't matter what he looks like.

So what's it about? Smile? Hair? Butt? Abs? Eyes? Personality? Humor?

Another trip around the sun

Yes, I had a birthday yesterday. I try to avoid them but it's very difficult. I don't normally get a bunch of presents, and don't like to get them unless they are very inexpensive. MySpace is fun because it shows your birthday to all your Friends, and it they happen to notice it they tend to leave comments. This video, from a band called "Venice", just cracked me up! What a brilliant idea. After their little birthday song and dance there are a couple of their songs so it's great marketing on a grassroots level. There was also a link to a Hobbitty Birthday song sung by Marc Gunn of the Brobdingnagian Bards. (How to pronounce it)


My friend over the pond sent over a great-looking beret with... TA-DA... cats on it. of course, I love it. She also sent over some Shaun the Sheep episodes (a Wallace and Gromit style sheep show). If the embedding doesn't work, watch it here. Very infectious!!!


Mr. B really surprised me because he got me a big helium balloon with Johnny Depp/Jack Sparrow on it! Normally we don't do gifts, and he may not want to do this one again because this balloon is going to last a looooooong time (unless it has a mishap).

Work, play, work

Memorial Day weekend is almost here! I am taking off an extra couple of days from my day job… so I can WORK on my freelance job! That is pretty typical for me these days. I am in a state of burnout and don’t know the way out. Yes, it’s true – we get out and do fun stuff a lot – but the fact remains that I still work every day, 7 days a week. I have a constant flow of tasks into my biz inbox, and most of it is deadline-sensitive so it’s not as though I can put it off. I have no one to fill in for me so not only do I not get vacation, I get no sick time. As long as I can open my eyes, I am able to work. If need be, I could drag the laptop into my sick-bed. So much for convenience. Sometimes it’s overrated! [grin – with gritted teeth]

Fun stuff, let’s see, Pirates of the Caribbean 3 starts Friday, so we are going on opening day. I am psyched!!! I cannot deny it. There are certain movies I have to see ASAP because I absolutely hate spoilers and they are hard to avoid. Reviews are often just a retelling of the story line – grrrrrrrr (ever listen to that guy on NPR? I turn that sucker down as soon as he starts talking). The Tomatometer is a bit in the splat range right now at a little over 50%, but I don’t care. I don’t usually agree with most critics, and the “tomatometer” is not a factor but it’s still fun to check out what they are saying. Put it this way, if a movie has a tomatometer rating below… say… 10%, it’s almost guaranteed to be a bona-bide stinker. It doesn’t mean I won’t give it a rental. Could still be good for a laugh, in fact, a laugh is a sure thing. Anyway, Jack is back and looks who's with him!!

What else is going on… It’s going to rain so that outdoor party we’re going to on Saturday might get rescheduled. There are loads of free/cheap shows. The South Austin Jug Band is at Momo’s late Saturday. It’s a possibility, or we could wait for Shady Grove next Thursday. Here’s a vid of them covering a Django tune. The video quality is not great, but check out this twin fiddle offering featuring a couple of the finest fiddlers in Texas (Dennis Ludiker and Brian Beken) – and they’ve got the papers to prove it. Those kids can saw!! Minor Swing:


Tags: Music - Austin - bluegrass - fiddle - pirates - depp

I'm scared to smell your feet...

The scary day is finally here! Like I said, we won't see many scary or creative costumes in our 'burbs. Down on 6th Street, well that's another matter, but we will have to watch them on TV while the doorbell rings. The scariest part of it is that the doorbell sends the cats into panic, and sometimes Duncan is driven to relieve himself on the couch.

Not that many movies scare me anymore, I guess I stay away from the ones that are shock-factor only with no humor (or bad humor). I don't believe in the devil, so all those movies based on biblical inventions like the devil, angels, evil spirits, etc. bring a yawn (unless they star Johnny Depp). Here's one movie that really did scare me: eXistenZ (1999). The blurring of reality and interference in rational thinking was terrifying. I will generally pass on horror or slasher movies unless they are funny, vintage, or just done very well (or have Johnny Depp in them... heh heh...)

When my mother was young, there really was "trick or treat". If the person in the house didn't give you a goody of some kind, they would trick them. One trick that was common was catching the old farmer in the outhouse and turning it over. Whew!! Somebody got an extra bath when it wasn't even Saturday night!!

Everybody have fun, and if you're going to throw rotten eggs, take them up to Crawford.

- Halloween -

Work, play, collapse

It's been a packed weekend and week, hardly time to breathe. Not all work and no play though (I have only those 2 settings. I have no setting called "relax"). Two fantastic Del Castillo shows Friday and Saturday at Antone's included a Saturday surprise of Monte Montgomery playing electric guitar with the brothers for the finale (afterward he told me that he's done that maybe 3 times before, but nobody I know has ever seen it!!). All three of them distinguish themselves by playing hella acoustic like you can't even believe, and they play really good electric too. Man, was it loud. My ears were nearly bleeding even with earplugs. Whoo! Tomorrow (July 12) is Mark del Castillo's birthday, by the way. Still a baby at 34.

Also saw the new Pirates of the Caribbean on Saturday. Of course, you should go see it silly!! It's loads of fun and Depp goodness. Not sayin' any more, me hearties and scabrous dogs!

Well, just wanted to drop a note in here. And totally off the previous 2 topics, here's a Pink Floyd quiz to amuse you. I only got 2 out of 10 right and those were wild guesses. See if you can beat that!! I don't know my Pink Floyd stuff. Enough of this fluff, back to whipping myself into an early grave.

EDIT: Geez!! This is just super-weird coinkydinkyness. I'm freaking myself out. Syd Barrett has just died, but I didn't know that when I posted the trivia quiz link. Not really a survivor of the 60s (known for being mentally ill), he still lived to be 60 years and still has a humongous fan base. Apparently it happened several days ago (on the 7th, according to Wiki, but I don't think there's been an official announcement as I type this).


- Music - Austin - Texas - Texas Music -

Couldn't ugly up this weekend!

This weekend helped to smooth out my attitude, which could only have improved. Saturday we went to see the long-awaited The Libertine, the Johnny Depp feature that has been basically shelved for 2 years. I thought he was really great in it, and probably uglied up more than I've ever seen before. It got thumbs up from us, and do see it if just for him... and no... that picture's not an example of the "uglied up" version.

The weekend had really beautiful weather, so after spending part of the day indoors we went to the Nutty Brown in the evening to see the South Austin Jug Band. It was a really fine night, great temperature and a good breeze blowing, plus really good music. It's a nice venue, but I wish it weren't food oriented. Basically it's like a dinner theatre, people eat and go, but there's plenty of dancing room... just plenty of room, the place is huge.

Sunday was another beautiful day, but I spent most of it working right here on this Powerbook. No escaping that. Finished watching Jarhead on Friday, which I really liked a lot, and North Country on Sunday, thumbs up all around, but no spoilers offered here.

This week's movie reviews

We've seen some interesting movies lately. Domino, starring Keira Knightley as a beautiful bounty hunter (based on a real person) and directed by Tony Scott. It was very artistically edited and colored, and one would assume that it was done digitally, but as the featurette on the DVD explained, he actually uses the film itself as an art medium. He uses various methods such as hand-cranking the camera to achieve special effects like double exposures, and the film itself very creatively is processed with chemicals that produce many bizarre colorations. So it's like he's making a hand-dyed scarf with acids and waxes, there's no starting over and you don't know exactly how it will turn out. Really fascinating. I didn't realize he worked that way.

We enjoyed the movie and the actors. Some good paraphrased quotes:

TV Exec assistant referring to her boss: He's like a ferret on crystal meth.
Bounty hunter: I've seen that.
TV Exec. assistant: What?
Bounty hunter: A ferret on crystal meth.

TV Exec (played by Christopher Walken): [watching one of his shows and screaming into the telephone] They changed the font? THEY CHANGED THE FUCKING FONT!!! WHY DID THEY CHANGE THE FUCKING FONT??? [then to the bounty hunter team] I've got font issues!!

Being a graphic designer, I guess the font rant was particularly amusing to me.

The next fun rental was The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra. Really recommended if you love bad sci-fi and horror from the 50s and 60s like we do. It's a new movie with good actors doing bad acting on purpose, and there is one scene at the dinner table that made me laugh so hard I was crying. Can't even explain it. Just see the thing for yourself.

The third one was Walking on the Moon in 3-D, which is playing at the IMAX. You've really got to experience seeing a movie in 3-D at the IMAX theatre. It's unbelievable how totally well this works, and with a screen that size you are completely transported by it. Looking forward to the deep sea IMAX 3-D movie coming in March, looks really great, and has Johnny Depp (and Kate Winslet) narrating. That has *nothing* to do with me wanting to see it. ;-)

Orlando

My inner shameless fangirl wins out this morning in wishing a happy birthday to the lovely Orlando Bloom, born in 1977.

No... I don't need to be reminded that I could be his mother. (aware of it...yessss)

I like the facial hair gone, prefer the elf look but the dark hair is nice too, and the chocolate-colored eyes. He's a great action actor, oh what magnificence on a battlefield!

Now that I have that out of my system, shutting up about Orlando Bloom for a good long while. At least until this summer's piratey pairing goodness with Johnny Depp.

- Orlando Bloom -

I'm a war movie.

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Well, if I'm going to be a movie, I might as well have Johnny Depp in me.

Snagged from Cats and Dogma

Sweetie Dahling

The movie, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, was OK. Johnny Depp and Freddie Highmore were good. Not the best Tim Burton/Johnny Depp ever by any means. I think it was meant to be much darker but to me it didn't come across, except for Johnny's Michael Jackson which was pretty frightening, and the various types of kids and parents shown. Too much like real life. Just look who's sitting next to you in the theatre, and seeing it in a mall just enhanced the mood set in the movie.

I have lived a little like Charlie myself from time to time. My Air Force dad would sometimes be gone for a year or two, leaving us with only a little money sent home for support, and he was not an officer so there was a very small income to divide up. Once we lived in a tar-paper shack in Southern Illinois for about a year. A little rotting-wood house with that brick-looking stuff stapled to the outside and an outhouse in the back. My mother would get up early to chop wood for the iron stove, which was for heating and cooking (no electricity). We had more than cabbage to eat because she made a nice garden in the backyard with corn, beans, and even strawberries. Our water supply was a garden hose hooked to the neighbor's faucet and poked through a hole over the sink in the house. Hot water was heated in a pan on the stove. The sink and the bathtub were both those galvanized tin tubs that people (including us) now use as rustic flower pots. We slept on quilt palettes laid out on the wood floor. Mice ran freely through the place. It really didn't bother me though, I figured I would always be poor and had accepted it. I was only in first/second grade. To add to the ambience, the house was right next to the railroad track, and to make it more Burtonesque, the house was the only one of its kind on the block. The rest were fairly average-looking typical small town middle class brick homes.

I learned to resent spoiled people who had it all on a silver platter, especially when they looked down on me. I was a "have-not" from Day-One whether I lived on base (where housing and social facilities were segregated by rank) or in the civilian world where we were dirt-poor. I don't appreciate being called a military "brat", believe me. I was anything but spoiled. It's always a good idea to have a little sensitivity before calling anyone a name.

Rant:
Should have gone to the Alamo Drafthouse instead of the REAL Alamo! Last time we went to the IMAX in San Antonio, we must have waited until the movie was a couple of weeks old, because our seats were dead center in the theatre, where we like to sit, and I must have forgotten that they were reserved seats.

If you are going to offer reserved seats in a movie, then offer the customer seating choices. People have all sorts of preferences for movie watching, and I HATE sitting in the back, especially the very last row in the theatre (if I wanted the screen to look smaller, I wouldn't travel 2 hours each way to come here and pay extra for the movie, you dopes!!), I like being closer to the screen than most people seem to like, but not front row either. When they sell these tickets with reserved seats, I would bet that the earliest ticket buyers would be rewarded for their trouble with front row seats (and in an IMAX? give me a break, that's hardcore). I'm sure there were people sitting in our ideal seats, wishing they were further back. This shouldn't be done like a concert, that's boneheaded. Boneheaded!! Grrrrrrrrrr.

Next lesson: Don't EVER park in that parking garage when the mall is about to close. Cars were not moving waiting to leave, so we kept going back in the the mall and back out to the garage checking for progress and there never was any. It took us 2.5 hours to get out of the damned parking garage. Our parking ticket had been validated but the fee was still $6 (it would have been $10 without the validation, the attendant told us).

We drove home for 2 hours in the rain, which put a final polish on the mood.
Rant Over.

Comfort food was consumed. My diet is just going to hell.

Kinda Sums it Up

This is one of my favorite movie sites: The Four Word Film Review. There’s no news on upcoming movies, no trailers, no professional critiques of anything, no useful information whatsoever! The idea behind it is to write and submit a movie review containing no more than four words. Profanity is fine, bad taste is fine, tacky, catty, offensive, politically incorrect... all acceptable. The more creative, the better. Here’s a list of the reviews I’ve submitted and have had accepted. I’ve had even more rejected by the powers that be over there. There are maaaany more better than these, but you’ll have to look those up for yourself.

Note: These and the other reviews on FWFR contain spoilers!!! So if you didn’t already know that Darth Vader is Luke’s father… DOH!!!

Alamo, The (2004)
Billy Bob Alamo'ed.

Alexander (2004)
Alexander the Gay.

Auto Focus (2002)
Eroto-focus.

Before Night Falls (2000)
Depp does booty duty.

Blue Velvet (1986)
Orbison music made creepy.

Boondock Saints (1999)
Willem turns into Wilma.

Collateral (2004)
Death cab misses cutie.

Cry-Baby (1990)
Depp teaches French kissing.
Prison tattoo produces tear.

Day After Tomorrow, The (2004)
Dennis's menace is ice.
Ice unites nuclear family.

Ed Wood (1994)
Glen Glenda genda benda.

Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004)
Iraqi horror picture show.
Seven minutes of Duh-bya.

Finding Neverland (2004)
Depp pens Pan.

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)
Geckos hate Titty Twister.
No cursing for Keitel.

Hard Day's Night, A (1964)
George meets future wife.

Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban (2004)
Dementors suck face.
Ron's rat is fink.

Hellboy (2004)
Firestarter finds fire-proof boyfriend.

Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, The (2005)
Zaphod Dubya Beeblebrox.

Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom (1984)
Bugs instead of snakes.
Whiny bimbo cracks fingernail.

Interpreter, The (2005)
Kidman is Penn pal.

Johnny English (2003)
Bean bares Bishop's bottom.

Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
Sword is carry-on luggage.

Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
Broken heart kills Bill.

King Kong (2005)
King Kong Brody.

Kingdom Of Heaven (2005)
Knights in white habits.

Matrix Reloaded, The (2003)
Name 'Smith' more common.

Meet The Fockers (2004)
Baby's first word, 'asshole'.
CIA-equipped RV.

Once Upon A Time In The Midlands (2002)
British cowboy not convincing.

Polar Express, The (2004)
Another Tyler plays elf.
Hellish icy roller coaster.

Robin And Marian (1976)
Robin wins old maid.

Saint, The (1997)
Russian confusion over fusion.

Secret Window (2004)
Double Depp and nuts.

Shrek 2 (2004)
Banderas coughs up hairball.
Puss, ass cuteness contest.
Shrek gets pussy-whipped.

Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow (2004)
Robots won't obey Law.

Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Webbing preferred over wedding.

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge Of The Sith (2005)
Darth Vader is hot!!
Mr. and Mrs. Sith.
Rise Darth Frankenstein!

Story Of The Weeping Camel, The (2003)
Camel likes sad songs.
Mom camel gets Intervention.

Troy (2004)
Achilles gets Legolas'ed.
Achilles kills with ease.
Sand Pitt.

Two Brothers (2004)
Little Thai grrrrs.
Little tigers stage cute-fest.

Waking Life (2001)
'Slackers' with hallucinogenic drugs.

War Of The Worlds (2005)
Red weed is PEOPLE!!

What's Eating Gilbert Grape (1993)
A 600 lb. Grape.

Yellow Submarine (1968)
Peace, love, dope Beatles.