Wednesday, July 25, 2007

I'll bring the whine

Blogging has slowed down a bit here because I have been in a funk for some time -- and not good funk. A long-lasting mild depression. I am thinking part of it is like a second mid-life crisis (already been on that ride once!). There's a bubble of anxiety growing over financial insecurity, work worries, lack of down-time, loss of furry companions (death is not something I deal with very well), and not having hopes for the future. I have been staying in more, being alone. I'm moody, irritable, and liable to speak my mind. Not always a good idea -- I told my boss on the day job exactly what I thought about the raise I got and what I think of my job -- not always a smart idea to be brutally honest. I didn't even feel better afterward, because I see my situation as hopeless and dead-end. There's another person I report to as well, and she tried pulling all the strings possible to improve things, but the decision is not up to her in the end. grrrr.

My home business is going strong but it doesn't pay enough and there aren't any breaks in the action. When there ARE breaks, I sometimes fret even more. I will never figure out what I'm going to be when I grow up. Too much of the time, I fear I will end up with a cardboard sign. Worst part about all of the above is that it's all my fault!! GAH!

Talking about things seems to make them worse. Blogging helps some because it's non-verbal. Am I going to snap out of this? Can I do it on my own or do I need Prozac?

Screen captures from the The Apathetic Online Journal Entry Generator over at Brunching Shuttlecocks.


Peacechick Mary said...

I think you are in a lot of good company with your feelings these days. Call it a general disturbance in the atmosphere. A lot of your distress feelings are coming from a real uneasiness in this country, shoot in the world. AS for dealing with the loss of a pet, that's the price of daring to love an animal and if you are that strong in love, then you will come through anything all right. You're a good person, Blueberry. Be kind to yourself.

Undeniable Liberal said...

I hear ya, Blueberry.

Nava said...

Hey there, welcome to the funk club. Yes, you are going to snap out of this, no need for Prozac.

(-) Been there, done that, being there now, and most probably, will be there again and again.
(Hmm, that's a long signature).

Mando Mama said...

Blue Blueberry,with all that you've been carrying between work with no breaks and the losses of your family critters, you have an exhausted spirit. Remember that you are not Elastigirl, you are a person. I wish I could offer ideas on feeling less trapped and more hopeful. The key will be hidden somewhere in a quiet moment you'll have to steal somehow. I hope it comes your way soon.