Where are all the penguins?

Is there anything funnier than some of the dumb things that people actually say? These are from a collection of the dumbest things that tourists ask in or about Alaska, gathered from travel agents, cruise personnel, etc. The link to the whole list is at the end of the post.

• [From non-Alaskans] "Where do all you people go in Winter?"
• [On board cruise ship] "What time is the Midnight Buffet?"
• "How old does a Caribou have to be before it becomes a Moose?"
• [in gift shop] "Do you take American money?"
• [in the street, upon viewing an obviously Hispanic lady with her infant in one of those backpack baby carriers] "Oh look - an Eskimo squaw with her little papoose!"
• [asked in July]" What time do the Northern Lights come on?
• "Let's go to the post office and get some Alaskan stamps."
• [ferry passengers, several times!] "Which side of the boat do the whales come up on?"
• A Juneau cabbie tells me a woman passenger asked him if they turn the waterfall off at night.
• [on boat tour to seabird rookeries]"What's that white stuff all over the rocks?"
• [at Denali National Park]"Where do they take the animals when the Park closes for winter?"
• "What flowers bloom here in the winter?"
• "If it's dark all the time in the winter how do the kids find their way to school and back?"
• "Are there still mammoths around?"
• "Who mows the tundra at McKinley?"
• "What do you mean, you fight forest fires? It's all snow and glaciers!"
• Someone actually thought they were someplace southeast of California, because that's where their Rand McNally atlas showed Alaska on the United States map.
• A friend who lived in Alaska once told me of a tourist who met a black tour guide in Anchorage, and had to have her picture taken with him, because she thought he was a "Black Eskimo".
• [At Portage Glacier Lake] "How do you suppose they get all that ice in there?"
• "Is there electricity in Alaska?"
• [Exchange overheard between 2 tourists on a tour bus] "Is that a bear?" "No, that's a rock." "No, it must be a bear. It’s too big to be a rock."
• Tourist asked an Indian tour guide "How long have you been an Indian?"
• [Passenger on ferry] I know the tide goes in and out, but here it's going up and down!
• [to travel agent] "Will the glaciers still be out in September?"
• "When does the tour to the top of Mt. McKinley leave?"
• A reporter from the Lower 48 asked about the Talkeetna Moose Dropping Festival: "Just how high do they drop the moose from anyway?"

That last one might be my favorite!
If you like those, there are over 50 of them here.

- Alaska -