Monday, July 30, 2007

The Short Rabbits

I've been going through lots of old files (see previous post) and that includes collections of stuff I thought was funny enough to squirrel away on a floppy. Here is one that always makes me laugh. It's a list of actual English (Engrish) subtitles used in films made in Hong Kong:
  1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.
  2. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.
  3. Gun wounds again?
  4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.
  5. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.
  6. Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!
  7. Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.
  8. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?
  9. Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.
  10. You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.
  11. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!
  12. You daring lousy guy.
  13. Beat him out of recognizable shape!
  14. I have been scared shitless too much lately.
  15. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!
  16. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.
  17. The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?
  18. How can you use my intestines as a gift?
  19. This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat.
  20. Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough extermination.
  21. Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.

The graphic is from a collection of Chinese translations from Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, ep III (which I think I would enjoy more if those captions were there). Apparently, they have translated "Jedi Counsel" into "Presbyterian Church." WTF? Very weird things can happen when you take something from one language, translate it into something, then translate the translation back into the original language. I borrowed the screen shot from this collection. There are some great ones out there, including Lord of the Rings (I can't find those anymore, my old bookmarks don't work. Next time I find them, I will snag them... but I *won't* save them on an old floppy.


Nava said...

"Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep"

Wonderful!! (or, in the line of your post: Sentence makes my brain stem very happy...).

Mariamariacuchita said...

Ah...I'm still laughing..these are great!

Peacechick Mary said...

This truly made me laugh out loud and hold my intestines for later consumption! Still laughing... can't type worth a shit.

Mando Mama said...


"You daring lousy guy!"

Man, I can't wait to use that on my next bad first date.

LOL! Thanks, those were beautiful.