Tuesday, January 24, 2006

The VWP Party

If you think Kinky is an interesting gubernatorial candidate, check out this guy! He's a Satanist, Vampyre, and has many other titles most of which I am not familiar with.
From his website:

Honesty is very seldom heard nowadays, especially from a politician. So, I am going to break from political tradition. My name is Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey, Ph.D., L.D.D.D. I am a Satanic Dark Priest, Sanguinarian Vampyre and a Hecate Witch. My Magikal Path name is: Lord Ares.

I despise and hate the Christian God the Father. He is my enemy.

However, it doesn't mean that I hate all his followers. This Country was founded on religious rights and freedoms. This is guaranteed under the 1st Amendment of our great constitution. This right allows me to worship Lucifer and the Goddess Hecate, just as it allows you to worship the Goddess/God of your choice.

He goes into a deeper explanation of Satanism and discusses his other qualifications such as his wrestling career (he is running in Minnesota) and boxing career.

hmmmm. Well, isn't that special? At least he's not an atheist. A religious guy like this has a shot at getting elected. I'm not even sure an atheist would be allowed to run.

Here's more on The Impaler. Satanism seems as fine to me as any other religion. The Sanguinarian Vampyre part is quite mysterious and frankly sounds uninviting. L.D.D.D. has to be some kind of priestly designation. Either that or there's a dental degree I don't know about. Note the spelling of "vampyre". I think that means something.

His devotion to Lucifer doesn't really bug me, but this statement about Jeb Bush does (he worked to support Jeb's campaign): "Though Jeb did not win, he showed me the true meaning of a man of character."

Urggh! Also on his website, he trashes his exes pretty bad, and makes a case for using impaling as a punishment.

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Neil Shakespeare said...

Yes, we're all very proud of all the wonderful publicity he's brought to Minnesota. But we would all dearly love it if he would move to Florida and go to work for Jeb. Maybe he could start up a Satanist Prison to go with those Jesus Prisons of Jeb's.

Blueberry said...

Our new "secret prison" system could definitely use the services of an impaler, as long as they can keep from killing the person long enough to make it qualify as torture. Get Cheney on the phone!!