Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I'll get more sleep when I'm dead

One of my pet peeves is the numbered self-improvement list, they make it seem like you should really be able to do these easy steps! And if not... why not? This is easy.

Top 10 Ways to Lose Weight! 7 tips on Skin Care! 52 Tips on Happiness! And from one of the sites that's composed of these lists, there's 9 Ways to Tell if You Are a Self-Help Junkie. (Because you can't get enough self-help lists?)

Ohhh, I know there’s good advice there but lots of them are blatantly obvious things that fall under the category of “Well, duh. Do they think I am really so stupid that I didn’t think of that?”

Anyway, I am in a constant state of being sleep-deprived. Maybe that's why I'm such a curmudgeon and a cynic... hmm? I’ve read that people who get less than 6 hours of sleep per night are much more likely to die an early death. Just one more statistic to keep me up at night worrying.

Here are a few helpful lists, many with very similar advice and tips in varying degrees of severity. [unnumbered sleep tips] [33 secrets] [10 tips from WebMD] [7 hidden ways] [7 ways to get the best sleep ever - CNN]

They contain common suggestions such as giving up caffeine (coffee, tea, chocolate) after dinner (which is assumed to be at 6PM), and at least one said no caffeine after lunch.

Then for 2-3 hours before bed (5:30-6:30PM on recommended schedule) there should be no (1) alcohol, (2) hot baths or showers, (3) exercise.

Right before bed, which for me would have to be 8:30PM (to get 8 hrs sleep), there should be no (1) stress, (2) studying, (3) emailing, blogging, tweeting, texting or facebooking, (4) television - especially scary TV, (5) reading in a bright light, only dim lights allowed and no scary books or homework. The room should be very dark with no flickering light like TV. You should be relaxing or even meditating. Non-caffeinated or carbonated drinks are allowed, but it may as well be water [refer to the lists on weight loss and skin care]. Oh yeah, and no pets on the bed.

My life Monday through Friday:

4:30AM to 7AM
Hit the alarm, fix coffee, pack breakfast/lunch, serve morning canned cat food, medicate cat, computer (email, work, etc), shower, get dressed and drive on the highway.

7AM to 4PM
Sit in an office, chilly and windowless, working at a computer.

4PM to 10PM
Drive for an hour, run errands (usually), prepare and eat dinner (that's between 6:30 and 8PM), wash dishes and clean, medicate cat, 1-2 hours of TV, wind down on computer with either “me” time or freelance work (it is necessary to multitask to get all that in). Never in bed before 10PM. Never. And hardly ever asleep before 11PM. That’s 5.5 hours before the next alarm goes off.
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Soooo, I get home at 5 and have to have dinner over by 6. That leaves only a couple of hours for everything else, but a lot of my favorite TV shows will be missed because of starting too late, and movies on DVD last too long so I will have to give them up too... Basically I will be doing chores and nothing else. Oh yeah... and it might be tricky getting the room really dark while the SUN is still out!!

I think the list makers may have had a 4-year-old in mind. Sounds about right. Well, here it is after 10 and I'm still up. Better get going. Night night.

4 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Nighty night! Sweet dreams!

Ricky Shambles said...

Best of luck on getting enough sleep. I tried a couple times but fell behind on life. 8 hours for real? Ugh.

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

holy shit..maybe u could buy your lunch..? more money but save on time..? dang.

Blueberry said...

Buying lunch is not really an option. The only thing I can think of is staying off the computer more, not something I really want to do. The idea of going to bed really early just makes me even grumpier, and would it be worth it?

Vicious circle of "I don't wanna"