Friday, July 01, 2005

You had me at "Meow"

At some point in time we made the transition from being cat-people to crazy-cat-people. Our lives are ruled by cats. Our house has a cat motif: cat salt and pepper shakers, coat hooks, candle holders, various little beds with just the right fleece, litter pans, etc. The floors are mostly tile so make cleanups easier (if you have any cats, you know about the cleanups, cats are clean but they make messes), furniture the color of cat....um...messes, covered in slipcovers or just made of something wipe-clean.

We can't travel if it will take both of us away more than one evening. The routine and requirements of this gang are beyond the patience of the most conscientious cat-sitter on earth. I'm certain of it. Alex and Jax are not permitted to meet each other. It would result it bloodshed followed by someone's demise, probably Alex's since Jax outweighs him twice over and is half his age. Also Jax is a trained killer with 7 years experience from before we took him in. Neither Alex nor Jax can co-mingle with Henry and Duncan unsupervised. Usually their peaceful time time together lasts about 10 minutes tops before someone starts a hair-pulling scream-fest. Duncan and Henry are pretty good buddies, having only an occasional spat of wrestling and slapping. At night, Alex gets our bedroom, the Boys get the run of the house, and Jax gets the cat room. Then at 5am (when the first mandatory feeding must take place) Jax and Alex are exchanged while hoping that one doesn't get a good look at the other. The rest of the time that we are home, we all play musical cat rooms. Everybody gets exchanged with everybody else, all litter pans are cleaned several times a day (certain cats will refuse to use it if another cat has already ruined it for them), and dry food that has been sitting out for a few hours will be shunned, and one cat will not eat the dry food that is at the edge of the plate, so one of us primates must rearrange the chow to make it more appealing. One cat has indigestion or some unknown ailment that he's had for years, and pukes nearly every day. He likes to puke ON something: shoes, purses, phones, remotes, magazines, the bed, the bed especially if you are in it, or maybe down the side of the couch. Steriods are the only thing that has helped at all. Another one poops on the floor or bed sometimes, just because he felt like it. It might be because he's happy or having a crazy hour. He's not sick, or pissed off at us, he's just plain goofy. Another one has allergies and needs frequent pills. The last one has an OCD that causes him to lick off his belly and leg fur.

Swab, poke, wipe, scoop, isolate, pet, comb, clip, launder. These are our babies, and that's how they are treated. I wouldn't trade them for a trip to Paris... not Paris, Texas anyway.

The more cats you have, the more subservient you will be. Since primates and cats have existed, felines have possessed the deep-down intuitive ability to press our buttons. More about my lovely little god-creatures later here at the Oasis, but you can get a look at them here: Silly Cat Valley. Who says there's not enough love to go around?

1 comment:

Minh Moneymaker said...

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