Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Criscoteque

coverI've got a stack of Grandma's old cookbooks and cooking pamphlets here... she collected them but didn't really use them much. Runs in the family, I guess.

This one is put out by Proctor & Gambles' CRISCO, and all the recipes in it contain Crisco. It's from 1959, and instead of being full of hideous food photos with bad color, it's all done in very trendy, modern illustrations. Stereotypes galore. Here's the cover, where the cook, which is, of course, the wife and mother, serves up chicken, cake and Crisco to her suited-up husband, son, daughter, dog, and the cat is missing because it's off misbehaving somewhere.

See... cats are portrayed as thieves and predators in this booklet. Here's the family cat stealing a cookie. Nobody is very concerned that the cat might be ingesting chocolate.


Here is an evil cat ready to pounce this poor defenseless child and that delicious Crisco doughnut. Get in mah belly!!!


Your cat wants dogs. Here, the cat is ready to pounce these hot dogs, which have been battered and fried in Crisco.


This is a picture of "Groom's Cake" and it states it "will serve bachelor friends in style. Also an excellent standard fruitcake." In 1959, all bachelor parties served fruitcakes. I think they made them very large so that strippers could emerge from the center, all covered in waxed fruit.


And finally, here it is. A date with the family (see the video at the bottom). The wife has taken off the apron and put on her pearl necklace. I'm not sure what's for dinner there, some kind of mystery meat fritters arranged like Stonehenge and served with a bowl of Cheese Sauce (also made with Crisco, because cheese needs extra fats added for flavor). None of these families need to worry about dealing with yucky vegetables, because none are ever served. They are only cooked down and made into meat sauce.

Here is the hilarious 10 minute MST3K short, "A Date With Your Family." Enjoy!!

4 comments:

Th' Rev said...

I believe that's a rack of lamb.I think my mom had that cookbook.
MST rules!

enigma4ever said...

that was great- I am pretty sure my granma Flo had that book too- she as a huge crisco fan...I love the art...

wonderful post....loved it...

Mando Mama said...

DO NOT...I REPEAT, DO NOT sell that book on E-bay. That is the best damn thing I've seen all day.
Those illustrations are just the best. Too bad they didn't have your annotation back then.

I wonder if my kids would be more grateful for the lovely Crisco-free meals I cook up if I put on lipstick to eat with them? Nah, they'd just make fun of me even more. But it would draw their attention away from Tonight's Mystery Meat.

Deep fried hot dogs. EW. I need a Sangria.

Cheers!

MM

Blueberry said...

If the cats really ate anything that greasy, I'm sure it would slide back out quickly... not saying which end...