I need a remote that does garden chores

I have been left home alone for a couple of days while MrB visits his family in St. Louis. Even for for 2-3 days, there's a long list of "what to do and how to do it" that I've had to write down or remember. One of them is strictly for my limited entertainment purposes, and that is how to operate the TV and its playback peripherals. He is in charge of that system, and I do the computers. When I put a DVD in the computer, it reads the disk, the controls appear, and TA-DA, it starts playing!! What a concept. But, if I want to watch something on a much bigger screen with better speakers and a comfy couch -- it's another story.

Usually he has charge of the remotes, because the way things operate is always being tweaked, I can't keep up with it, so I quit trying. We sat down together before he left and I took notes on how to simply watch a DVD or the TV.

A DVD requires 3 remotes. (A), (B), and (C). Using (A), press POWER, then TV/VIDEO gets pressed 5 times until the right screen appears. Using (B), press the DVD/LD button, then the RECEIVER button, the the SOURCE button gets pressed until the right screen appears. Using (C), press POWER, and make sure that the VCR/DVD button is pushed instead of the TV/VCR button or the controls won't work (I learned that on my own). Insert the disk using the OPEN/EJECT button. The DVD can be controlled by (C), and has fairly clearly understandable controls, but (C) does not control volume, you can use (B) for controls as an option. Remote (B) gives me laughing fits, because it has a bazillion tiny buttons (as they all do) but these are really not marked well, or require bright lights and magnification. It has 4 colored buttons in a row. Green means STOP, and red is PLAY (not the logical color choices!!!), yellow is PAUSE and we don't know what blue is for. I'm writing all this stuff down, which covers a whole sheet of paper, and am thinking it would be easier to launch an ICBM than play a DVD, except that for nuclear missiles it takes 2 people to turn the keys (and don't even ask how to play or record VHS on that system, because I don't know. I use the simpler machine upstairs... and yes, we don't have TIVO). I muddled through the process, and Orlando Bloom was before my eyes before I knew it.

The other thing I have to do daily, and this is not in the category of entertainment, is to venture out into the backyard, which is very jungle-y because of all the rain we had this summer, and change the water in the bird baths. Seriously... it is very overgrown and rather dense. I'm proud of it, don't get me wrong, my MrB is a wonderful green and wildlife habitat gardener, but I can't be out there more than a couple of minutes before I'm being assaulted by something.

Usually it's a swarm of mosquitoes, or sharp pointy plants, or it could be an assault of the eyeballs as in the case of having TWO huge Argiope spiders living back there. Here they are in their glory and zippers.

The worst part of discovering a spider for a spiderphobe like me is trying to confirm its identity on the internet using Search Images. Aaaaaooooohhhaaaahhhcckk!!! The only thing worse than the hairy legged shots are the ones showing the results of brown recluse bites. At least some of the pages have unintentionally humorous random-generated ads, such as "Get Spider Ringtones", "Find Spiders on eBay", and "Top Deals on Spider Webs"

When I was over at Blockbuster picking out some vids tonight, there... attached to the black wire racks holding the movies... was a pretty large spider. It was dead, I believe, and I am not one to poke spiders, and after googling hideous spider close-up pictures tonight, I think it might be a Hobo Spider -- which IS venomous. Right there on the racks at Blockbuster.

I just might freak right out this weekend. Help!

Catblogging - Did you pack your own bag?

Henry is practicing for his new job as a bag-checker for airport security, and since his Dad's going to St. Louis for the weekend, he has a bag to practice on. First of all, this bag is plenty big, so there's room to take him on-board. If he can't go, he will send along some hair. His aunties are very allergic to cats, so it will make an impression. Henry wants to know if you are packing any liquids... and if not... would you like some? Well, this suitcase is really pretty boring and contains no toys, catnip or contraband, so his work is done, and the luggage has been properly scent-marked.

All clear! have a nice flight!

Tags and links: Friday Ark - Carnival of the Cats - This week's carnival is at TBIFOC - Cats - Catblogging

Molly: missed

I understand that this would have been Molly Ivin's birthday. Here is a little gem I ran across, some footage of Molly from 2002. A little shaky here and there, but worth it, and a great closing statement from Jim Hightower on that special brand of blueberry in the ketchup Texans.

It's important for your age and IQ to match

Miss Teen USA contestant from South Carolina:

OK, I actually have no problem with beauty contests. Just be honest about it. Do the swimsuits, do the ballroom gowns, have a naked catwalk if you want. It doesn't matter, it's about the beauty of the face and body. Please just stop trying to pretend that the intellect of these girls and women matters one IOTA. Same for talent competitions. Does it matter to the people who watch pageants if the woman can sing or tap dance? Then stop making them do it.

But then, maybe it's possible that they put their brains on the spot just to get a laugh. In this case, it truly worked.

EDIT: [LINK] They gave her a chance to change her answer on the Today show. Her new reply was "Well personally, my friends and I, we know exactly where the United States is on our map. I don't know anyone else who doesn't. And if the statistics are correct, I believe there should be more emphasis on geography."

Par for the course

I am back on the hamster wheel until late September, and not sure if there will be relief in October. Like yesterday, it was the kind of day that exhausts me. Up at 5, little rush jobs completed before leaving for the day job by 7, worked at the day job for 7 hours, spent an hour or 2 at the doctor, then home to work for 4 more hours -- with an hour and a half of down-time for dinner and some TV. Tired eyes. Today will hopefully be a teensy bit better. Apologies out there in blogland. I am not meaning to ignore anyone, just trying to keep pace. The long weekend will allow more time to work, but I am not planning on missing the big BatFest on Congress, at least on Saturday. A diversion!

In other news, Gonzales gone! Soon to be replaced with yet another unqualified Bush crony. Is there no end to the list? Hope I'm wrong. Pardon my cynicism. {yawn} Just wondering who else might get swept out in this bout of house cleaning? Seems like Cheney is doing a heckuva job but needs more time with his family, not to mention health concerns. Sound like a plausible set of reasons to leave. Dare we hope?

Bummer to hear about Owen Wilson. It's always shocking to see someone who does comedy roles do something so unfunny. After his breakup, people said "oh he's fine. He's partying". Well, duh. He's an actor. How can you tell how he's really feeling? Hope there's help for broken hearts... somewhere, somehow.

That's it's for random observations. Anyone got a good joke, funny story, some cheer?

Spiders On Ice

No... it's not a hellish beverage.

Like many of you, I surely do miss MST3K (Mystery Science Theater 3000), where they try to find the worst movie possible, then riff and joke through the whole thing. We watched a Made-For-SciFi Channel movie yesterday that would have been a perfect candidate. It was called "Ice Spiders". Yes, even the title conjures up a humorous image of people skating around in spider suits.

Instead of that, there are some very CG-looking spiders which need more hair, romping around on the slopes - and there is a real LOL moment when 3 of them come flying off the ski jump. Wheeeeeee!!!!!!

The movie adheres to the science-mutation monster movie stereotypical formula very well, so it's easy to guess what's going to happen next. One of the stars is Vanessa Williams, who is not to confused with the OTHER Vanessa Williams, the beauty queen. This one is also a beauty, nonetheless, and plays a scientist who is gorgeous, well-endowed, and always wears very tight, bright pink clothing. If you have seen any cheesy, mutation monster flick, you already know the plot, so just sit back and watch it unfold.

I wonder if they were inspired by this line of ice footwear?

Another trip around the sun

Yes, I had a birthday yesterday. I try to avoid them but it's very difficult. I don't normally get a bunch of presents, and don't like to get them unless they are very inexpensive. MySpace is fun because it shows your birthday to all your Friends, and it they happen to notice it they tend to leave comments. This video, from a band called "Venice", just cracked me up! What a brilliant idea. After their little birthday song and dance there are a couple of their songs so it's great marketing on a grassroots level. There was also a link to a Hobbitty Birthday song sung by Marc Gunn of the Brobdingnagian Bards. (How to pronounce it)


My friend over the pond sent over a great-looking beret with... TA-DA... cats on it. of course, I love it. She also sent over some Shaun the Sheep episodes (a Wallace and Gromit style sheep show). If the embedding doesn't work, watch it here. Very infectious!!!


Mr. B really surprised me because he got me a big helium balloon with Johnny Depp/Jack Sparrow on it! Normally we don't do gifts, and he may not want to do this one again because this balloon is going to last a looooooong time (unless it has a mishap).

Catblogging - cat's cradle and silver spoon

I picked up this little "baby bed" as part of our cat motif, but never dreamed that the cats would actually use it for a bed. Here's Henry in the Cat Cradle. Duncan used to like it too, probably because he knew Henry liked it.

Close up of the cradle.

It's a cat's life!! Special placemat with some gross-looking food (sorry). The water bowl says "Cat From Hell", but that is, of course, impossible. Not our little angels.

And finally, here's something I got in an email promotion. The ultimate in cat furniture: the Cat Genie!!! Self-flushing, self-washing, self-scooping litter box, not on sale for only $300!! [video]. Well, you knew there was no such thing as a free cat.

Tags and links: Friday Ark - Carnival of the Cats - This week's carnival is at The Scratching Post on Sunday - Cats - Catblogging -

Ain't no cure

From this week's David Letterman newsletter:
Top Ten Things Dumb Guys Like About Summer

10. All the sand you can eat.

9. Easy on the pocketbook pets -- ticks.

8. If you have a light blue shirt and you sweat a lot, voila! A dark blue shirt.

7. Eating shrimp salad that's gone bad in the heat equals a week's vacation from work.

6. Wait, this summer or last summer?

5. On 95 degree days, the wind chill factor makes it seem like a delightful 90.

4. Great deals on snow shovels.

3. Drinking some cold beers and then going into space.

2. Them beachballs is purty.

1. Get to spend 12 weeks in Crawford, Texas.

I am happy for those adults out there who got some time off this summer. I would dearly love to sit and look at purty beachballs, maybe wipe the sand off of the beer glass, somewhere far away from Crawford. Austin will do, but I am still locked up by this crazy workcycle.

My best friend has summers off, and makes the most of every minute of it; traveling (sometimes even to Europe), workshops, concerts, sleeping in. Still, what I am hearing from her is how hard it is to go back to work, it's depressing, and how she wanted to do SO MUCH MORE during the summer, it just wasn't enough time. She also feels that people in her profession really need summers off because the stress of dealing with the children year-round* added to the stress of always needing to do exactly the right thing (and make no mistakes) would mean that the nerves would not endure it -- not year-round. I pointed out that lots of professions have those qualities, such as air-traffic controllers, police, and medical personnel (and I could think of a lot more, such as pilots, bus drivers, emergency 911 operators, etc. yada, yada), none of which get summers off. But then I am reminded that those people, although their work stress level is many times the amount of mine, DO get a little actual time off here and there... and I don't. (Whether or not they are able to leave their job at the office door is another matter.)

I have 2 part-time jobs. On one of them is the "day job" where I work for someone else and get a benefit package, but the other one is me being self-employed doing my "dream job". A few years ago, I turned a hobby into an occupation, and it has been growing on its own. I really enjoy it and it's what I want to do, but the "dream" is not always a good dream. For years I envisioned this very occupation, except that in my dream I would make good money and be able to take my work with me to exotic locales since I would be able to do it all from a laptop. Warm breezes, cool drinks, blue waters... and wired. The reality of the situation, however, is that I don't make enough money to afford hotels and cat-sitters... and the nature of this job is that almost every day there is something that needs to be done that cannot wait. It might take a few minutes or several hours but it won't wait until someone's vacation is over, and I have no helpers. It's just me. (Sounds easy to solve, doesn't it? It's not.)

Tomorrow is my birthday. I am taking off of the day job, but will probably work all day at home on a new project I am trying to complete on a deadline. It's an exciting project, and I'm glad to do it, also I really need the $$$. Tonight is a show night, and Saturday night (maybe Sunday afternoon too) we will be out and about, kicking up our heels, but I think I will spend my birthday evening watching good old Friday night TV: Meerkats and Monk.

Laptop pic snagged here.

*I am not talking about children being or not being in school during summer. I am just venting about adults who have summer off and are always forgetting that others are not so lucky. I also don't mean to put my friend down. I think she's great and I'm lucky to have her, and hope to see her this weekend. I'm also glad that she has a job that allows her those particular perqs.

Braggin'

Here's a song I heard on KUT this week, an older one from Billy Bragg with Wilco (and that's Natalie Merchant on backing vocals). It's an even older Woody Guthrie song. According to this wiki on Wilco, Nora Guthrie contacted Bragg to record some of her father's songs that he had been too sick to record himself. I hadn't heard it before, and the melody and the purity of it kind of got to me. Check out the song Way Over Yonder in the Minor Key

Here he is getting wonderfully political in a Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, accompanied by Austin's Own Ian McLagan (of Small Faces). He doesn't even sound like the same singer to me here.
Enjoy it! Waiting For the Great Leap Forwards

Amazon, follow-up, more

EDIT, Sunday Aug 19: I am bumping this post to the top, because of a new tactic that Amazon is taking. I clicked on the first link below, Gamecock Magazine, to find that they have removed all the negative comments (including mine)!!! There is some customer/user discussion of this in the forum. Looks like they have also done this for some of the other items too, like the "Dog Pit" book. At least they have (for now) left the tags in place, and the forum(s) as well.
***/end update/***

***/original post from Friday Aug. 17/***
I am just following up on my Amazon animal-fighting post from earlier in the week. Here's more that you can do to tell Amazon what you think: writing customer reviews. I'm thinking that those things are going to be very effective in the long run from Amazon's point of view.

Some suggestions for Amazon animal-fighting products to review:

Gamecock (magazine)
Grit and Steel (magazine)
The Game Cock (book)
History of Game Strains (book)
The Dog Pit - Or, How To Select, Breed, Train And Manage Fighting Dogs (book)
Feathered Warrior (magazine)

Tags: cockfighting - dogfighting - animal cruelty

The purple traitor

What color is your soul painted? Purple Your soul is painted the color purple, which embodies the characteristics of sensuality, spirituality, creativity, wealth, royalty, nobility, mystery, enlightenment, arrogance, gaudiness, mourning, confusion, pride, delicacy, power, meditation, religion, and ambition. Purple falls under the element of Earth, and was once a European symbol of royalty; today it symbolizes the divine. Click Here to Take This Quiz

Quizzes and Personality Tests

Purple does happen to be my favorite color.

Uh... wealth?? Nope. My retirement plan mostly consist of winning the lottery. I'd better start buying tickets.

I will go along with the mourning, confusion, gaudiness and delicacy. How do those go together, I wonder? Would I be good at planning irreverent funerals? No doubt.

Meditation, religion, ambition, the divine... those things are not happenin', folks.
Take the quiz at the link... unless yer yella!!
(hmmm... what should I do if my belly IS yellow?)

Found this quiz through Red Nava and Orange Michael.

Catblogging - Couching Cats

Couch
transitive verb
1: to lay (oneself) down for rest or sleep

Jax is doing a good job of hiding -- in plain sight!
Just a big, fluffy couch-matching lump.
Want something that matches the sofa?
Here he is!

Just showing the slightest bit of ears, but still blending in.

Aha! Unmistakable catty outlines are a sure giveaway!

OK, now he REALLY no longer blends in! And speaking of cats hiding on or in couches, here's a good story about a lucky cat who saved itself from a burning house by wedging into the couch cushions! (Firefighters thought feline had perished, then found it after dousing flames)

Tags and links: Friday Ark - Carnival of the Cats - This week's carnival is at Strange Ranger on Sunday - Cats - Catblogging -