Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Pat Predicts!!

"The Lord didn't say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that."

Robertson said God told him during a recent prayer retreat that major cities and possibly millions of people will be affected by the attack, which should take place sometime after September.

First of all, I have a very important question. If the Lord HAD said "nuclear", would he have pronounced it "nuke-u-ler" (rhymes with "Bueller") or "nu-clee-ar"?

Remember that tsunami that just hit the West Coast late last year? Up around the Pacific Northwest? No? [LINK] I guess Pat Robertson needs to learn how to ask the Lord, "Huh? "

When I was young my mother and I enjoyed reading this Criswell book, and seeing him in his spooky B-movie shorts with the most outlandish predictions for the future (read some of them at the "Criswell" link). We liked all kinds of crazy crap, anything remotely of the occult. She took it all a lot more seriously than I did.* The first time one of his predictions went laughably wrong, he became just pure fun for me. Nostradamas from the sixties with extra cheese. You can see him portrayed in the movie Ed Wood, and the real Criswell in at least a couple of Ed Wood's movies.

*my mother's side of the family tended to believe the stuff in the Weekly World News.

Links: [Criswell Predicts] [Criswell article] [wiki Criswell]

Tags: [] []


Tim Torkildson said...

Pat Robertson says that the Lord
will let loose a terrorist sword
unless we repent
and have duly sent
his program a hefty reward.

Blueberry said...

Thanks Tim!

And I hope it's just a sword instead of bullets, bombs and brimstone.

Poor Pat is losing his cred... well... "poor" is maybe not the best description.

Fernando said...

You know.... It's not often when you find somthing that strike you as simultaneously pathetic and histerical.

Undeniable Liberal said...

The heathens shalt be smitten. Really, isn't it about time to put him out to pasture? He has fleeced his misguided flock enough, already.

niCk (Mem Beth) said...

If Pat Robertson said it, then I believe it.

After all, our Great and Dear Leader and Pat share the same prophet connection to Mr Almighty. and look at all the success the Leader Dearest has accomplished since speaking to the Great Sky Magician.

G-d spoke to me last night also. He told me I used too many jalapenos in my spaghetti sauce last night. He is so wise, but that sauce came out good like that. I'm not listening anymore.

//Sarcasm off//

beepbeepitsme said...

Is he praying or constipated? Or is he praying that his constipation goes away?

Blueberry said...

beep: he is certainly full of shit, although he doesn't hold it in. Plenty to go around.