Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Nutty Nuptials

We are now entering the most popular time of the year for weddings, and it's fun to look at how the already-weird rituals can get even more bizarre. Photo at right is from this site dedicated to hellish bridal fashions. Categories include such titles as "Strange Headgear", "Flower Abuse" and "Dear Wedding Lady, My Butt Isn't Big Enough". This style is referred to as "Bottlebrush". And oh, the evil that is thrust upon the poor Bridesmaids! Males are lucky, they get to rent something bizarre and then return it.

I’ve been a bridesmaid twice (for the same person!) and actually did get to wear the stuff again in both cases. The first time the color was burgundy and it was supposed to be kind of Victorian. I have reworn the dress for costume affairs, and actually won a prize once for impersonating Scarlett O’Hara in it. (I never went hungry again!). The next time she got married, the color was orange – so an orange sequined vest and black skirt did the job but looked pumpkinesque. It was a very odd ceremony held in a tiny attic room, and the “minister” used a cassette tape player for the musical interludes – unfortunately, the music itself was less memorable and impressive than the LOUD clunk sound made by abruptly stopping the tape in mid-song. There must have been a time limit on the service or something.

The most original and creative wedding I ever attended though, was a Star Trek wedding. It was held in a Planetarium with the reception in the adjoining Science Center. The Groom had made a little robot to be the ring bearer (the couple were both engineers). The Bride’s music was not from Star Trek, but rather 2001: A Space Odyssey, “Also Sprach Zarathustra,” (Richard Strauss). Star Trek life-sized standups guided our way to the reception area, where each table represented a different starship from the series (movies or TV), and the wedding cake was a replica of The Starship Enterprise. Absolutely unique!

Cakes, including wedding cakes, can get very creative – and why shouldn’t they be fun? [LINK 1][LINK 2] Those go to some pics of very odd wedding cakes, including Nintendo (that has to be a bad omen if there is such a thing!!), Super Mario Brothers, and R2D2...and the circular slide one... I know it's a Helter Skelter but to Americans that term only means the name of a Beatle song that inspired Charles Manson to orchestrate mass murder. So a “Helter Skelter” themed wedding is not advised.

Here’s a post about very odd wedding songs... mostly poor choices. Includes lyric links.

Live And Let Die
I Will Survive
Mrs. Robinson
Angry Young Man
Beat It
Stairway To Heaven

So, if you are getting married: Live long and prosper. Live and let die is a questionable sentiment. Also, if you are a woman, here’s wishing you don’t need to wear anything with “wings” on your wedding night. Ahem...


Me said...

That is hilarious that you were a bridesmaid twice. To the same person!
Sometimes the best weddings seem to be the ones where just the two of you stand in front of the local J.P.
Oh, BTW, are you going to the ROT Biker Rally this weekend?
I'll be there. Should be able to get tons of marvelous photos.

Pam said...

I've been a bridesmaid more times than i can count. Not twice for the same person, but only b/c during the second (or third) wedding, there were no bridesmaids ;-). I didn't have ANY in my wedding - at age 30. Just my brother as "man of honor." And he's getting married in a couple of weeks with a VEGAS wedding!

Blueberry said...

hill: Probably won't make the ROT, got stuff planned out the wazoo -- mostly w-o-r-k. :-P
pam: Vegas wedding! That's a great way to do it! My weddings were pretty non-traditional too, esp. the 2nd (and hopefully last) one.

beepbeepitsme said...

I must be living in a parallel universe. I was a bridesmaid twice to the same friend also.

Blueberry said...

beep: did you get any further use out of your dresses?

Mando Mama said...

What a great post. I love the story about your friends second wedding -- I can just see the whole tape recorder thing happening, and me not able to keep my composure.

I'll admit I can be a sucker for strange stories of other people's nuptials. To this day I feel awful about the bridesmaids dresses I thrust upon my friends...pink fluffyesque floral things that I'm certain they never wore again. I let the woman who sold me my wedding gown talk me out of my previous idea of elegant dark blue gowns. And my late former MIL had already purchased her gown. Great start.

Michael Bains said...

Both my wedding ceremonies took place outside, and the 2nd had no bridesmaids per se. The first had my two wee nieces lookin' totally darlin' in dresses their mom made for them, w/ flowers in their hair o'course.

Of course, I always said I would NEVER get married. Now I know why and hope to stick to that, even though I'm seriously missin' an actual better half.



beepbeepitsme said...


No. They were both the kind of thing I wouldn't wear again unless it was for a fancy dress party. I pretty well live in jeans. Brisesmaid dresses are a little over the top for me.

pissed off patricia said...

My first wedding was a big fancy deal but the marriage didn't last. My second wedding was sweet and simple, that one has lasted 20 years. Just sayin'

Mariamariacuchita said...

My best ever wedding as a bridesmaid was my sister's wedding on the beach in Mexico...barefoot in blue silk, almost sunset. The water sparkling nearby. And a very cool party afterwards at a local disco.