I would suspect that some projects are undertaken merely for the chance to be included in these awards (which are presented by Nobel Laureates). They are for real, even though it's hard to believe that real money and time were spent on these studies. A Fark headline would go on to say, "Still no cure for cancer". The link above has full information and references. Here's the brief description of the awards:
ORNITHOLOGY: exploring and explaining why woodpeckers don't get headaches.
NUTRITION: for showing that dung beetles are finicky eaters.
PEACE: for inventing an electromechanical teenager repellant -- a device that makes annoying high-pitched noise designed to be audible to teenagers but not to adults; and for later using that same technology to make telephone ringtones that are audible to teenagers but probably not to their teachers.
ACOUSTICS: for conducting experiments to learn why people dislike the sound of fingernails scraping on a blackboard.
MATHEMATICS: for calculating the number of photographs you must take to (almost) ensure that nobody in a group photo will have their eyes closed
LITERATURE: for the report "Consequences of Erudite Vernacular Utilized Irrespective of Necessity: Problems with Using Long Words Needlessly."
MEDICINE: for medical case report "Termination of Intractable Hiccups with Digital Rectal Massage"
PHYSICS: for insights into why, when you bend dry spaghetti, it often breaks into more than two pieces.
CHEMISTRY: for the study "Ultrasonic Velocity in Cheddar Cheese as Affected by Temperature."
BIOLOGY: for showing that the female malaria mosquito Anopheles gambiae is attracted equally to the smell of limburger cheese and to the smell of human feet.
I am using the "weird" tag a lot lately. It must be my mood.
8 comments:
LOL. The one for m,edicine is great. "Digital Rectal Massage"? Aren't massages supposed to feel good?
Who would've thought that after all the unsuccessful ways to try to stop hiccups, it was all just as simple as having someone stick a finger up yours.
Ever seen "The Truth about Cats and Dogs". The turtle scene? he-he.
LITERATURE: "Consequences of Erudite Vernacular Utilized Irrespective of Necessity" - The Title says it all, no need to even write a report.
They told me that my paternal grandfather (the one I never met) died from hiccups. I have no idea if this is really true or even possible, but too bad this new innovative procedure wasn't around back then, huh? ;-)
Never seen that movie. Looks like I need to add another one onto the list.
That is just weird....I hear ya, sis, that's exactly how I have felt lately.
Perhaps the procedure did exist but in mixing metaphors somebody snuck up on grandad and massaged him and when the shit was not able to scare out of him, he exploded.
I feel your pain Blue. :(
I think the procedure has always existed, but we are not used to that particular meaning of "digital". I mean, my "digital" clock is not the one with the hands... ewwww. maybe this new procedure uses mechanical "digits".
Depending 'pon who's moderating them, I'm up for both the Literature and Medicine studies.
...is attracted equally to the smell of limburger cheese and to the smell of human feet.
Is there a difference? Really? I hadn't noticed...
And merci beau coup for the Papal Reprieval Card! Not to mention the cookies and (Red) wine. I can definitely be using them. Especially after that Medicine study, don't ya know... {-;
I'm just ticked because I've never gotten a grant to piss away my time doing stupid research about stupid things. It sounds so easy when I had to work hard for a living.
ICK. Litteratyour.
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