Tuesday, September 02, 2008

My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, and I Don't Love Jesus


Well, the news lately is either sad, bad or ridiculous. I had some downtime from work and was sick for the whole thing, too sick for activities beyond chugging tea or cough syrup and lounging on the couch, so MrB didn't have much of a weekend either. We need some chuckles (but no clowns).

Here is a classic Kathy Griffin, this one makes me laugh no matter how many times I see it (topic: Catholics).


a LOLcat:
cat
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Country song titles, always full of groaners. These snagged from Dribbleglass.

All I Want From You Is Away

You Can't Have Your Kate and Edith Too

I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Almost Like Having You Here

Four on the Floor and a Fifth Under the Seat

If You Can't Be Good, Be Bad With Me

Bubba Shot the Jukebox

Are You Drinkin' With Me, Jesus?

Billy Broke My Heart at Walgreens and I Cried All the Way to Sears

How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?

I'm Under the Table Over You

Drop Kick Me Jesus Through the Goal Posts of Life

Am I Double Parked by the Curbstone of Your Heart?

I'm Gonna Put a Bar in the Back of My Car and Drive Myself to Drink

Welcome to Dumpsville, Population Me

If Love Were Oil, I'd Be a Quart Low

Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed

My Phone Ain't Been Ringing, So I Guess it Wasn't You

I've Been Roped and Throwed By Jesus in the Holy Ghost Corral

She's Acting Single, I'm Drinking Doubles

Is It Cold In Here, or Is It Just You?

We Used to Kiss on the Lips, But It's All Over Now

My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, and I Don't Love Jesus

Thank God and Greyhound She's Gone

I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling

You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

Thanks to the Cathouse, I'm in the Doghouse With You

I Would Kiss You Through the Screen Door But It'd Strain Our Love

I Fell for Her, She Fell for Him, and He Fell for Me

You Were Only a Splinter as I Slid Down the Banister of Life

Did I Shave my Legs for This?

I Fell in a Pile of You and Got Love All Over Me

She Got the Gold Mine and I Got the Shaft

My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, and I Sure Do Miss Him

If You Want to Keep the Beer Real Cold, Put it Next to My Ex-Wife's Heart

I Gave Her My Heart and a Diamond and She Clubbed Me with a Spade

I Sat Down on a Beartrap (Just This Morning)

She Looks Good Through the Bottom of My Shot Glass

If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead?

Mama, Get the Hammer (There's a Fly on Papa's Head)

Red Necks, White Socks, and Blue Ribbon Beer

I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim is Getting Better

If You Don't Leave Me, I'll Find Someone Who Will

My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart


So, you got any funny?

7 comments:

Progressive Texas Chicano said...

Hi Blueberry, Fightin mad chicano lib here. well, after my crazy and long hiatus, i have gotten back to blogging.

i am focusing more on issues that bring liberals together right now on my blog. seeking more of a common thread than anything, since everyone's still kinda cranky after the primary.

i harbored a lot of ill feelings towards a lot of things that happened but have moved on. i will either vote Green this time since they are left of the Dems this time.

I hope that you are well at this posting. Your critter pics are entertaining as always. stop by my blog if ur schedule allows.

FMCL
-Anj

Border Explorer said...

Hope you feel better soon, Blueberry! I can hardly believe those song titles on on the level. Too funny! In case you haven't seen this vid yet (or even if you have) I always laugh at I Get By With a Little Help from My Friends.
(And BTW, any friend of Kathy Griffin is a friend of mine.)

Mando Mama said...

"I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling"

Boy if I had a dollar for every time I said THAT.

These are great. I've heard the leg-shaving song before...

Tim O'Brien had this one either with Red Knuckles or the O'Boys: "If I Can't Live Without You, How Come I Ain't Dead?"

Nava said...

"I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim is Getting Better"

That one might be my favorite.

Hope you get better soon - I too had my share of some nasty flu virus. Felt very stupid to drink hot tea when it's so hot outside.

Blueberry said...

I am still down with whatever it is that I've got, but at least I have a doctor's appt. this afternoon.

Blueberry said...

"She Got the Gold Mine, I Got The Shaft" is actually one of Jerry Reed's.

Ellie said...

As a fallen catholic myself I can attest to Kathy Griffins humor as being right on.

Too bad about Jerry, but we are all going to go sometime. Thanks for the link to the NPR interview I'd heard it before but it was nice to listen to it again.