The M-Word

Hope everyone had a pretty good Mother's Day.

Mother's Day is a non-occasion to me now. All I've got left is my Mother-in-Law, who's a really great person and treats me well. She lives in another state and I didn't see her. My own Mother passed away 13 years ago (she had superstitions about and insisted on traditions relating to flowers, one was that you wore a white rose on Mother's Day if your mother was no longer living), my grandmothers have been gone for 20 years, and I didn't have kids. Kids are not for everybody, not everyone is meant to be a parent, and I feel lucky that I didn't end up pregnant by that abusive white supremicist trash I fell in love with when I was 17. Temporary stupidity.

The radio stations were playing songs with the theme of "Mother" this weekend, of course. This is one I hadn't heard before, and it cracked me up. How's this for a title: The M-Word Scares the F-Word Out of Me. Listen to it here.

Most of my female friends had very difficult relationships with their mothers, and I was no different. The usual story is one of rejection, being made to feel "not good enough", treated as not being capable of doing the right thing, and not returning love. Add this to a woman's struggle to be successful in a man's world and the constant pressure to look beautiful and it's a recipe for low self-esteem as best. Oddly (coincidentally?) most of these women friends did not want or chose not to have children. I think Mother's Day is important, but also wish there was more respect for choice and for women who made a choice.

My wish for Mother's Day is that all children would be loved, wanted, and sheltered. My wish for all mothers (all parents, whether adoptive or natural) is the same one.