Monday, October 26, 2009

Ceiling Cat thinks ur hawt.

Here's some scripture for your Monday. The entire Bible is being translated into the language of the LOLcat. Srsly. Iz almost dun. This is Song of Solomon 4, from a bible book that's hardly removed from the romance genre anyway.

1 U iz so cute!
U iz so hawt!
Ur eyez iz liek birdz,
an ur hair iz liek goatz
comin down teh mountin. Datz hawt.
2 Ur teefz iz liek sheep
dat just hadded a baff.
Liek twin sheep,
bcz non of ur teefz iz missin.
3 Ur lipz iz red;
ur mouth iz hawt.
Ur butt
iz liek a peech.
4 Ur neck iz liek a towr,,
a pretti wun;
wif 1,000 sheeldz hangin on it,
from spartanz.
5 Ur tittehs iz liek babi deer,
twinz evn,
dat eatz flowrz.
6 Until teh sun comz up
an it gets liet,
I wil go to teh mountin of catnip
an teh hill of insense (datz u).
7 U iz perfekt;
dere iz nothin rong wif u.
8 Com wif me from Lebanon,
liek i sez, com wif me from Lebanon.
Com down offa teh mounten,
enni mountin u happenz to be on,
out of teh lionz housiz
an teh leprdz housiz too.
9 I luvz u;
u stoleded mai hart
wif ur briet eyez,
an ur sparkli collar.
10 Luvin u iz so graet,
bettr dan getting waszted,
an u smel niec too.
11 Ur lipz haz a flavor
an ur tung too.
U smell realli good.
12 U iz liek a pussysekrit gardin,
or maybi a fountain dat bin hid.
13 U iz liek treez
wif lotz of differnt frootz,
all kiendz,
15 U iz liek a drinkin bowl,
teh kiend wif teh built-in watr fountin.
16 Get outa bed, norf wind!,
An teh souf wind too!
Blow on mai pussygardin,
so evriwun can smell how niec it iz.
Let teh cat i liekz com into mai pussygardin
an eat all teh frootz, dey is tasti.

Original here (and by original I mean King James Version because that's the only kind that will not be starring in the Great Halloween Satan's bible Book Burning). Dey woud burn teh LOLcat version if dey cud only get it out uh the internetz. LOL!

5 comments:

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

you know them people think your going to hell don'tcha?

Blueberry said...

As long as it's in the opposite direction they're going...

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

i'll be holding your hand and trying to make you skip..

AArdvarker said...

iZ dat da King Jemz Hawt Bible theyz quotin?

Debra She Who Seeks said...

All hail the power of Ceiling Cat's name!