Friday, July 11, 2008

The good old days

Oh, the good old days. Lots of people think we can go backwards in time, and make everything the way it was back then. It's a 1940s, 1950s, early 1960s fantasy world that lives on in film, including these funny old educational shorts they used to force on us in school.

Welcome to opposite world. In this film, we learn how it is not that big a deal if your town gets hit by a nuclear weapon. It's hardly even as serious as a tornado. All the danger from heat and radiation is over in about one minute, then you can close the blinds, pull the curtains, stuff like that (in case there's another bomb, you can't be too careful), then listen to the radio until the grownups to come around and check on you.
Atomic Alert!

Far more dangerous than getting nuked is the common housefly. This video will scare you out of your wits! Seriously, it's worse than any horror movie of its day.

Part 2 is here, where the most frightening part (on modern terms) is how they absolutely saturate the living room with bug spray!

Well, I need a shower after that pair of shorts!! Yikes. And isn't cleanliness next to Godliness, after all? Here's a pair of 1950s neat-freaks. They are soooo perfect for each other. Remember boys - never choose that patterned shirt! In fact, why do you even have that outlandish thing hanging in the closet? Is something wrong with you? I think we all know the answer to that one.
How to be well-groomed
(wisdom from the Mississippi State College Home Economics dept)

If you are sufficiently starched, conservatively dressed, and completely sanitized, you can go to a party! Here's a hilarious instructional video on how to throw a great party. Make sure you've got fun activities planned, like making hats, then everybody can gather round and sing "Jimmy Crack Corn."
What makes a good party!

Here's one on the dangers of homosexuals, who were all pedophiles. Some people still think that. These films might be partly responsible for that.
Boys Beware!

Girls only needed to worry about learning to cook, clean, having good posture and being able to entertain friends (oh yes, they should stay away from older boys, and for gawdssakes don't get "in trouble").

So, don't worry about nukes, keep your fingernails clean, don't ever have sex with anyone (you can't be too careful), be sanitary, be tidy, saturate the air with poison, don't wear patterns, and learn the lyrics to Jimmy Crack Corn. Everything will be fine.

1 comment:

Mando Mama said...

Golly, Blue! That's good advice! Of course, some of these things are among my better habits already. For example, I, like that smart Sue, never wear red nail polish because it would draw attention to my stubby hands, too! But the party tips suuuuure are handy!
Gotta run -- I need to do my ironing and get my weekly manicure in then wash my glossy hair so that I have time for those eight hours of sleep! If my eyes are red and puffy, I won't make any new friends!