Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Yeah... that's the ticket... hmm, I see it is.

love isThese are real excuses offered to police from people trying to get of speeding tickets. I have a real one to add also, from my crazy uncle, and he was absolutely serious: "I couldn't have been speeding. I'm a Christian! And Christians don't break the law and Christians don't lie! Ohhhhhh, Jesus!!! Come right now!!!"

Others from the Kitsap Sun and more in the comments at the link:
"I didn't know I was, because my lights are off."

"I'm taking my friend to the hospital. He has alcohol poisoning." (The driver was drunk, too).

After crashing: "I put supreme gas in the car, which caused me to lose control." (He, too, was found to be drunk.)

"Don't I get a couple over when I am taking my grandkids to the airport?"

"I get 10 extra in the fast lane."

"My speedometer is broken."

"Gas pedal got stuck."

"I'm trying to catch that UFO. Can you try to catch it for me?"

"I had a bee in the car."

"I am late for church and don't want to go to hell."

"I have been drinking and want to get off the road quickly."

"I'm going to a divorce proceeding and if you met her, sir, you would understand why I am hurrying."

"I am wearing really heavy shoes today and they make the gas pedal go down more."

"I just got my license back from it being suspended and I am not used to driving."

"My doctor gave me the wrong meds."


Blueberry said...

my apologies for exposing you to a "Love Is..." cartoon. ;-)

Blueberry said...

...and maybe it should say "Bribery is..."

Utah Savage said...

My last ticket for speeding was received just after I'd smoked a joint in my car. I had, fortunately rolled down the windows, but I was doing 90 in a 60 zone. I was the only car of a four lane stretch and never saw the troopers car roar up behind me. Turns out my registration was expired and I couldn't find my proof of insurance. But my license was fine. Small favors. I didn't get a lecture or arrested, or thrown in jail, but my ticket cost $600. And I thanked him and smiled as he handed it to me. I also apologized for speeding. Nice manners never hurt.

Blueberry said...

The best ticket I got out of was when my mother had come to visit me in St. Louis from New Mexico, and we were driving down to S. Illinois to see the relatives on a Friday night. I had a broken tail light, and the cop said that since I had a Missouri license and Illinois plates (long story) that my driver's license was not valid, and he couldn't take the license in exchange for a ticket, as was the plan. He said that he would have to lock me up instead, with bail being $100 or something like that. We were poor as dirt. Put together, our income was maybe $400 a month and we each had to pay our respective rents and bills out of that. We literally counted our pennies to get by. He might as well have said $1000, or $10,000. Blood from a turnip.

So he was ready to lock me up and I was told that the judge who would take care of my release would not be in until Monday morning -- when we would just, again, not have the money -- and my mother would be out on the street, she didn't even drive.

I started to cry, and believe me, they were genuine tears.

I didn't get the ticket. The cop really did me a favor to let me go, he decided it might not be worth putting me through all that distress over a broken tail light.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

"Jesus is coming so I had to hurry up and meet him."