My Big Damn Heroes

It's funny how your dream man or woman will differ wildly from what you'd actually want in real life. Mine are usually some kind of movie or TV characters, as opposed to being the actor playing them, who I think of as a real person (well, duh...). But really, thinking of them as a real person takes all the fantasy fun away and they turn into a spoiled, bad-tempered womanizer who smells bad.

I always had a thing for space cowboys. When I was a young teenager I liked Captain Kirk. OK, I still like Captain Kirk. He accomplishes the task with quick thinking and a fast draw. Hot-headed and impulsive but with a heart of gold. Has to do the right thing.








Another big deal for me was Han Solo. All the same reasons, but even better because he's outside the grid. My latest Han Solo is Captain Malcolm Reynolds. He's even further off the grid than Solo and arguably more likely to shoot first.





All fine qualities... fine qualities... but the man I'm married to is a gardener. (Gardening is a hobby, he has a cube-world day job where he calls people on the phone all day and leaves at 4:30.) The plants are mostly natives (xeriscape!) and he got us a rain barrel for the occasional water needed, and the yard is full of wild beautiful plants, butterflies and birds. He also does laundry, fills the dishwasher, vacuums, cooks basic stuff, and is super cat-daddy to the 4 boys. By now, you're wondering what chores I do... heh heh... and NO, you can't borrow him. Also, he's into recycling, buys organic, is a member of the Sierra Club, and gives a buck to a homeless person just because they're most likely having a sucky day. We like the same movies, TV shows and political rallies. He will stop the car to move a turtle out of harm's way.

I shudder to think how he would handle a gun. I don't want them in the house, so I never want to know the answer to that. Also, he smells MUCH better than anyone who's been in space for an extended period... or running through a jungle, or chasing orcs, sleeping with a dwarf or a Wookiee (although I should point out here that elves do NOT smell, or not bad anyway... but Rangers... now that's different).

Now it's starting to sound like more of a fictional character than Han Solo, but believe me, things aren't perfect. It's hard work keeping a relationship going (it's going on 18 years now). We've both got issues and flaws, and have had to weather some real bad relationship-killing storms. I'm not easy to live with either, being rather a rogue with a heart of gold myself.

So he's not a blond Mirkwood elf or whip-snapping archeologist, or rogue space Captain, but a much better choice of companion when you're headed out there into the black.

- Star Trek - Lord of the Rings - Firefly -